I came across a really interesting blog entry by someone else. Well worth the couple of minutes it takes to read it. Enjoy!
http://www.becomegoodsoil.com/castration-a-case-for-carrying-a-knife/
Showing posts with label sexes. Show all posts
Showing posts with label sexes. Show all posts
Friday, February 21, 2014
Thursday, February 21, 2013
Bad advice for women
So there's been some bad advice making the rounds lately. Colorado State Rep. Joe Salazar (D) said last week that women shouldn't be allowed to own guns. He argued that women can't be trusted with guns, because if they feel like someone is following them, they might "pop off" at them with the gun, fearing being raped. He argued that women don't need guns in case of rape, because there are call boxes were you can call for police, as well as whistles that you can blow to scare them away.
Another Colorado lawmaker advocated that women that are being raped should claim to have an STD and pee themselves to dissuade an attack.
Vice President Joe Biden had the best advice for women, saying "Go buy a shotgun." That's great defense for at home (one that I too would advocate for). Then he proceeded to be dumb. He said he told his wife to take the double-barrel twelve gauge, go out on the balcony, and fire two blasts into the air. That's great to scare off a burglar, but what if someone is actively seeking to harm her? Now she's trapped with no where to go and a shotgun with no ammo. Now all she's done is give away her location.
I have a widowed mother, a sister, and a one-year old niece. I told my mother that if someone breaks into her house, take a shotgun and blow them away. More accurately, I told her to cut them in half. I'm not going to mention what my mother or sister possess, because that's no body's business but theirs.
My point is, who is to say that men are more responsible than women? One of the best hunters I know is a lady from church. And I would guess (just guess mind you; I didn't look it up) that most violent crimes are committed by men. This is the same "women can't drive" or "women shouldn't vote" crap, at least from these CO representatives (though probably not the Vice President). And conservatives are accused of sexism!
So let me give some more accurate advice.
Another Colorado lawmaker advocated that women that are being raped should claim to have an STD and pee themselves to dissuade an attack.
Vice President Joe Biden had the best advice for women, saying "Go buy a shotgun." That's great defense for at home (one that I too would advocate for). Then he proceeded to be dumb. He said he told his wife to take the double-barrel twelve gauge, go out on the balcony, and fire two blasts into the air. That's great to scare off a burglar, but what if someone is actively seeking to harm her? Now she's trapped with no where to go and a shotgun with no ammo. Now all she's done is give away her location.
I have a widowed mother, a sister, and a one-year old niece. I told my mother that if someone breaks into her house, take a shotgun and blow them away. More accurately, I told her to cut them in half. I'm not going to mention what my mother or sister possess, because that's no body's business but theirs.
My point is, who is to say that men are more responsible than women? One of the best hunters I know is a lady from church. And I would guess (just guess mind you; I didn't look it up) that most violent crimes are committed by men. This is the same "women can't drive" or "women shouldn't vote" crap, at least from these CO representatives (though probably not the Vice President). And conservatives are accused of sexism!
So let me give some more accurate advice.
- Don't buy a double barrel shotgun. By the pump action. It holds more rounds, plus every bad guy in the country knows the sound of a round being chambered by the pump. That in and of itself is usually enough to stop the robbery.
- Vice President Biden said a twelve gauge is harder to handle than an AR-15. That's actually backwards. Most AR-15s are not fully automatic, and the smaller round give them much less kick, so they're actually easier to handle. Shotgun kick so hard they hurt. A lot. Still, though some choose the AR-15 for self defense, I would rather stick with the shotgun. For home defense, I would recommend a 20 gauge (the larger the number, the smaller the round). This would be much easier to handle.
- Shotguns are great for home, but you get odd looks if you carry one all the time. Mace and stun guns can help, but if you live in a dangerous area and feel you want a gun, go with a 9mm.
- This is the most important rule. ONLY get a firearm AFTER you have had proper training. There are a few basic rules, like always treat a gun like it's loaded, even if it isn't. Because sometimes people think its empty, until they shoot their friend. You also need to know that you always treat a gun like the safety's off, because accidents happen. And you never point a gun at ANYTHING that you don't want to kill/destroy. You also need to learn how that particular weapon operates, how to aim safely, and how to maintain the weapon.
Monday, February 18, 2013
Longing for Chivarly
Saturday night I did something that I've never done before. I called the cops. I was sitting at home, watching a DVD on my couch when I heard a "smack" sound, followed by a muffled sound. So I paused the movie and listened. That's when I heard it. It was a much louder "SMACK!" (The distinctive sound of flesh hitting flesh.) followed by a woman's scream, then a woman crying.
I jumped up and ran outside, barefoot in temperatures in the teens, and listened. It was coming from the apartment next door, which I confirmed standing outside the door. I could hear the crying woman saying "I'm sorry! I can't help it." There was a reply from another female voice.
I ran back inside and paced for but a moment, trying to decide whether to go in, or call 911. I finally settled on the latter, though it took every once of restraint to not go over there with a baseball bat or the hatchet I use for camping and try to rescue the person who had just been beaten. I reported in great detail who I was, where I was, and what I had heard. The only thing that kept me still from going over there was fear of cops showing up to find me breaking into an apartment armed.
Here's the really disappointing thing. Two and a half hours later, when I went to bed (I had to work the next morning), no cops had come. No one even came to investigate. What's the point in calling for help if you report that you are an eyewitness (or in my case earwitness) to a crime and they don't even come to investigate. This isn't New York. I don't live in that big of a city. I shouldn't take time to get someone there, especially is a person is in danger.
Maybe that's why chivalry is dead. It is legally inconvenient. If I tried to help, I'd be charged, while the assailant would get away with it. But every instinct, every longing within me, wanted to be the hero, wanted to come to the rescue. Most men want nothing more than to be seen as a hero in the eyes of the woman they love. That's why men love action heroes. John McClain rescues Holly. Kyle Reese gives his life to stop the Terminator and save Sara Conner. James Bond shoots the big bad and gets the girl.
Yet, at the same time, men watch movies and play video games because we're afraid. We're afraid that we're too weak, just like Adam. Most people don't know this about the early chapters of Genesis, but Adam was made first. God told Adam not to eat from the one tree. Then God made Eve. Adam told Eve what God said. When the serpent came around, he asked Eve "Did God really say don't eat that?" She looked at Adam, and he SAID NOTHING. He could have stopped it, but he failed. He was there, and he didn't do anything. It's right there in Genesis 3:6. He was there and did nothing. That's why he got the harsher curse. 1 Timothy 2 explained that Eve was deceived, while Adam sinned willingly. And we (men) all fear that when we are put to the test, that we won't be enough. So in our fear, we hide. We try to avoid the test. In doing so, we fail by our silence, just like Adam did.
So I hope I did the right thing. I did what I legally could do. I wasn't silent. I spoke up, and put my name to it. Still, I wish I could have been a knight in shining armor instead of some guy with a cell phone.
I jumped up and ran outside, barefoot in temperatures in the teens, and listened. It was coming from the apartment next door, which I confirmed standing outside the door. I could hear the crying woman saying "I'm sorry! I can't help it." There was a reply from another female voice.
I ran back inside and paced for but a moment, trying to decide whether to go in, or call 911. I finally settled on the latter, though it took every once of restraint to not go over there with a baseball bat or the hatchet I use for camping and try to rescue the person who had just been beaten. I reported in great detail who I was, where I was, and what I had heard. The only thing that kept me still from going over there was fear of cops showing up to find me breaking into an apartment armed.
Here's the really disappointing thing. Two and a half hours later, when I went to bed (I had to work the next morning), no cops had come. No one even came to investigate. What's the point in calling for help if you report that you are an eyewitness (or in my case earwitness) to a crime and they don't even come to investigate. This isn't New York. I don't live in that big of a city. I shouldn't take time to get someone there, especially is a person is in danger.
Maybe that's why chivalry is dead. It is legally inconvenient. If I tried to help, I'd be charged, while the assailant would get away with it. But every instinct, every longing within me, wanted to be the hero, wanted to come to the rescue. Most men want nothing more than to be seen as a hero in the eyes of the woman they love. That's why men love action heroes. John McClain rescues Holly. Kyle Reese gives his life to stop the Terminator and save Sara Conner. James Bond shoots the big bad and gets the girl.
Yet, at the same time, men watch movies and play video games because we're afraid. We're afraid that we're too weak, just like Adam. Most people don't know this about the early chapters of Genesis, but Adam was made first. God told Adam not to eat from the one tree. Then God made Eve. Adam told Eve what God said. When the serpent came around, he asked Eve "Did God really say don't eat that?" She looked at Adam, and he SAID NOTHING. He could have stopped it, but he failed. He was there, and he didn't do anything. It's right there in Genesis 3:6. He was there and did nothing. That's why he got the harsher curse. 1 Timothy 2 explained that Eve was deceived, while Adam sinned willingly. And we (men) all fear that when we are put to the test, that we won't be enough. So in our fear, we hide. We try to avoid the test. In doing so, we fail by our silence, just like Adam did.
So I hope I did the right thing. I did what I legally could do. I wasn't silent. I spoke up, and put my name to it. Still, I wish I could have been a knight in shining armor instead of some guy with a cell phone.
Thursday, October 18, 2012
President Obama and the debate
So, I DVRed the debate, and have not finished watching it yet, but allow me to point a few things out.
The President said low gas prices are a sign of a bad economy. No wonder he acts so much like Jimmy Carter! Well, if my being able to afford gas and groceries are the sign of a bad economy, then bring it on!
The president said he's against gender discrimination. Yet two of his appointed positions were sued for gender discrimination and sexual harassment, with the lawsuits saying that they "ran things like a sorority." Women are paid 18% less by the Obama administration. They have disproportionately lost jobs under Obama. When asked about that, he equated contraception to women's jobs. Apparently, he views women as wombs for hire.
The president wants to raise taxes to raise revenue, but historically, higher taxes=less revenue and more spending. So if they raise taxes, they will spend more and take less in. Why? Because that means more people out of work, and therefore less overall revenue. Maybe, instead of looking "forward," he should read a book and look at how things work in the real world.
The President also claimed he cut taxes 18 times. That's true, if you include cutting taxes on special interest groups and temporary measures which have expired. He also raised taxes on the middle class through ObamaCare. He also claimed ObamaCare would lower premiums, but they have raised more than he said they would lower.
Obama also lied about the Arizona law, which the Supreme Court upheld. They cannot pull someone over because they "look illegal." If they pull someone over on another violation, they have to present papers. SO DO I. I have to present a driver's license. Don't you? If they can't produce papers, then an investigation can begin as to whether they were here legally.
Obama also said that he called Libya terrorism. The Moderator backed him. Then after the debate, she admitted SHE WAS WRONG. He said terrorism would not be tolerated, but never said Libya was terrorism. Too bad to Obama-supporting moderator didn't fact check before putting in her two cents. Admitting fault later does little to undo the damage.
Lastly, Obama kept saying "That's not true. That's not true." They say that if you repeat a lie often enough, loud enough, it will be accepted as truth. He's trying to paint Romney as a liar, but as Romney said in the first debate, "As president, you're entitled to your own house and your own plane, not your own facts." Obama's record doesn't match his rhetoric.
Einstein once said "The definition of insanity is doing the same thing over and over again, and expecting a different result." So do you really think four more years will yield a different result?
The President said low gas prices are a sign of a bad economy. No wonder he acts so much like Jimmy Carter! Well, if my being able to afford gas and groceries are the sign of a bad economy, then bring it on!
The president said he's against gender discrimination. Yet two of his appointed positions were sued for gender discrimination and sexual harassment, with the lawsuits saying that they "ran things like a sorority." Women are paid 18% less by the Obama administration. They have disproportionately lost jobs under Obama. When asked about that, he equated contraception to women's jobs. Apparently, he views women as wombs for hire.
The president wants to raise taxes to raise revenue, but historically, higher taxes=less revenue and more spending. So if they raise taxes, they will spend more and take less in. Why? Because that means more people out of work, and therefore less overall revenue. Maybe, instead of looking "forward," he should read a book and look at how things work in the real world.
The President also claimed he cut taxes 18 times. That's true, if you include cutting taxes on special interest groups and temporary measures which have expired. He also raised taxes on the middle class through ObamaCare. He also claimed ObamaCare would lower premiums, but they have raised more than he said they would lower.
Obama also lied about the Arizona law, which the Supreme Court upheld. They cannot pull someone over because they "look illegal." If they pull someone over on another violation, they have to present papers. SO DO I. I have to present a driver's license. Don't you? If they can't produce papers, then an investigation can begin as to whether they were here legally.
Obama also said that he called Libya terrorism. The Moderator backed him. Then after the debate, she admitted SHE WAS WRONG. He said terrorism would not be tolerated, but never said Libya was terrorism. Too bad to Obama-supporting moderator didn't fact check before putting in her two cents. Admitting fault later does little to undo the damage.
Lastly, Obama kept saying "That's not true. That's not true." They say that if you repeat a lie often enough, loud enough, it will be accepted as truth. He's trying to paint Romney as a liar, but as Romney said in the first debate, "As president, you're entitled to your own house and your own plane, not your own facts." Obama's record doesn't match his rhetoric.
Einstein once said "The definition of insanity is doing the same thing over and over again, and expecting a different result." So do you really think four more years will yield a different result?
Tuesday, February 14, 2012
Saturday, February 26, 2011
To my future wife
Now I don't know if I will ever get married. At this point, a date seems well out of reach. Anyway, since Dad's passing, I've been feeling a particular desire to find the comfort and intimacy that comes through a marital relationship, not that there's anything I can do about it. Regardless, I thought that I would right a note to anyone that I would marry.
As I have said on the profile, I am a romantic at heart. Maybe this sounds like the romantic ramblings of a lonely man who has little experience in the way things really operate. Maybe. But I think deep down, this is the desire of how all men wished their relationships worked. So ladies, remember that he needs a partner, not a yapping chiwawa. You can be a source of strength, or a source of added stress in the time he needs it least.
I don't really know how to start. I know that I will not be a perfect
husband. As much as I want to be a Knight in shining armor, I know that my
armor has chinks in it, has some blood from my wounds, has some rust. But
that's not who I want to be, especially in your eyes. I want, no I need,
in a deep, spiritual way, to see you look me in the eye. I recently
watched the new Russell Crowe Robin Hood movie. That's who I want
to be, the hero that is willing to fight when no one else will, no matter the
consequences. I want to be able to earn your love through my action and
honor.
I also know that isn't realistic. I will screw up, probably
badly. I will not pay enough attention to you and your needs, a hazard of
ministry. Moreover, I, through selfish action and pride, I will hurt
you. I know in those times, you won't want to look at me like your
hero. It reminds me of a popular song from my teen years. "If I grow
crazy then will you still call me Superman?" Know that in those times, I
will need you more than ever. I won't need you to nag me back into
submission. I will need you to remind me that I am your Knight, that you
still love me, that I am a good man, even when I don't feel any of that.
Because if you can make me believe that you believe that, then maybe I can
believe it too. I will fight to become what you see in me, for good or for
bad.
As I have said on the profile, I am a romantic at heart. Maybe this sounds like the romantic ramblings of a lonely man who has little experience in the way things really operate. Maybe. But I think deep down, this is the desire of how all men wished their relationships worked. So ladies, remember that he needs a partner, not a yapping chiwawa. You can be a source of strength, or a source of added stress in the time he needs it least.
Thursday, December 2, 2010
Men or Babes
I was doing some serving tonight. I was packing lunches for kids to have meals on weekends when not in school. This elementary school gets a grant to get this food, and we were helping pack it into bags for the kids to take home.
While doing so, this boy, whom I had the priveledge of having at weeks of camp and also getting to baptize earlier this year, was there helping. We had to undo plastic wrapping and open boxes. So I loaned this boy a knife. I showed him how to use it and how to be very careful.
I have carried a knife since I was 10. I grew up in the country. In my family, we cut strings off of bales of straw or hay daily. We open packages. We need knives daily. Carrying a knife was a rite of passage for me, and a very important one. A knife represets the ability to carry out work. Can a knife be dangerous? Absolutely. If not, it would not be a rite of passage to becoming a man.
You see, if there is no danger, it isn't really masculine. Look at football. Twenty-two men on two sides who hit each other as hard as they can. Rock climbing is obvious. Skydiving, rafting rapids, backpacking the AT, all these have an element of danger. And men are drawn to them.
Well, this boy's mom started to disagree. She was scared. "You should live with him. He's immature. I have to tell him to brush his teeth." Though she did not take the knife away, she repeatedly, verbally expressed her doubt in her son. Afterward, she continued this rant.
No matter what I said, I could not possibly get her to understand what she was doing. Masculinity is bestowed. It does not happen passively. It must be passed down. And in cannot grow in the mother's bossum (to use old-fashioned expressions).
The reason he is immature, is because she suffocates maturity in him. She tells him everyday to brush his teeth, so he doesn't have to remember to do it. In two weeks of camp over two years, I never once told him to brush his teeth or shower or change clothes or pick up his dirty clothes. Yet he did it, because he was ALLOWED to mature. As long as she keeps controlling his every move, he will NEVER grow.
Women cannot teach, cannot bestow masculinity. In our world, men are rare. Men come home and plop down in front of the TV. They don't teach their sons how to become men. Most of them are boys themselves, who don't know how to be men. They never learned how to be dangerous. They never learned how to lead. They never learned to live. And they certainly never learned to teach what they didn't learn.
It is sad really. So women, release your boys. Let them go. Let them GO. LET THEM GO. They have to fall and pick themselves up, or they will never learn to walk. Men, take them from their mothers. Teach them. In some native American cultures, after a rite of passage, they would take them back to their mothers, who would pretend not to know them. The man that bestowed masculinity upon them would introduce the young man to his mother. Her baby was gone. He was a man now. Let that be a lesson. Raise up young men.
While doing so, this boy, whom I had the priveledge of having at weeks of camp and also getting to baptize earlier this year, was there helping. We had to undo plastic wrapping and open boxes. So I loaned this boy a knife. I showed him how to use it and how to be very careful.
I have carried a knife since I was 10. I grew up in the country. In my family, we cut strings off of bales of straw or hay daily. We open packages. We need knives daily. Carrying a knife was a rite of passage for me, and a very important one. A knife represets the ability to carry out work. Can a knife be dangerous? Absolutely. If not, it would not be a rite of passage to becoming a man.
You see, if there is no danger, it isn't really masculine. Look at football. Twenty-two men on two sides who hit each other as hard as they can. Rock climbing is obvious. Skydiving, rafting rapids, backpacking the AT, all these have an element of danger. And men are drawn to them.
Well, this boy's mom started to disagree. She was scared. "You should live with him. He's immature. I have to tell him to brush his teeth." Though she did not take the knife away, she repeatedly, verbally expressed her doubt in her son. Afterward, she continued this rant.
No matter what I said, I could not possibly get her to understand what she was doing. Masculinity is bestowed. It does not happen passively. It must be passed down. And in cannot grow in the mother's bossum (to use old-fashioned expressions).
The reason he is immature, is because she suffocates maturity in him. She tells him everyday to brush his teeth, so he doesn't have to remember to do it. In two weeks of camp over two years, I never once told him to brush his teeth or shower or change clothes or pick up his dirty clothes. Yet he did it, because he was ALLOWED to mature. As long as she keeps controlling his every move, he will NEVER grow.
Women cannot teach, cannot bestow masculinity. In our world, men are rare. Men come home and plop down in front of the TV. They don't teach their sons how to become men. Most of them are boys themselves, who don't know how to be men. They never learned how to be dangerous. They never learned how to lead. They never learned to live. And they certainly never learned to teach what they didn't learn.
It is sad really. So women, release your boys. Let them go. Let them GO. LET THEM GO. They have to fall and pick themselves up, or they will never learn to walk. Men, take them from their mothers. Teach them. In some native American cultures, after a rite of passage, they would take them back to their mothers, who would pretend not to know them. The man that bestowed masculinity upon them would introduce the young man to his mother. Her baby was gone. He was a man now. Let that be a lesson. Raise up young men.
Monday, November 1, 2010
Wilderness
This weekend, I got to relax. How? By loading as much camping gear as I could carry and hiking into the wilderness. My friend and I called it "Man Weekend." This was the second year we had done this. Last year, another friend of ours was able to come also.
As men, it is important for us to go out in wilderness. We got away from choked cities and breathed fresh air. We hiked trails through untamed wilderness. We chopped firewood and made fire. We peed on trees. We saw stars without light pollution to hide them. We heard two owls vying for territory. We slept outdoors. We filtered water from mountain streams and ate jerky.
There is something deep in us that is called to the wild. Because God may move in the cities, but He met us in the woods. God created Adam in the wilderness and brought him to the garden. Eve was made in the garden. God met Abraham on a mountain. He wrestled Jacob under the stars. He met Moses alone on a mountain. God strengthened David in a cave. He fed Elijah by and open stream, and passed by him in an open cave. He worked with John in the dessert. He sent Jesus to the wilderness, and to a mountain grove. And he appeared to Paul not in the city, but along the road.
You do not fully appreciate Beethoven until you hear his music. You do not appreciate Michelangelo until you see his sculptures or murals. How can you appreciate the Creator without experiencing creation?
As men, it is important for us to go out in wilderness. We got away from choked cities and breathed fresh air. We hiked trails through untamed wilderness. We chopped firewood and made fire. We peed on trees. We saw stars without light pollution to hide them. We heard two owls vying for territory. We slept outdoors. We filtered water from mountain streams and ate jerky.
There is something deep in us that is called to the wild. Because God may move in the cities, but He met us in the woods. God created Adam in the wilderness and brought him to the garden. Eve was made in the garden. God met Abraham on a mountain. He wrestled Jacob under the stars. He met Moses alone on a mountain. God strengthened David in a cave. He fed Elijah by and open stream, and passed by him in an open cave. He worked with John in the dessert. He sent Jesus to the wilderness, and to a mountain grove. And he appeared to Paul not in the city, but along the road.
You do not fully appreciate Beethoven until you hear his music. You do not appreciate Michelangelo until you see his sculptures or murals. How can you appreciate the Creator without experiencing creation?
Monday, October 25, 2010
That's the way you want to play? Bring it.
Lately I've been stressed out, burned out, and insecure. I've been seeing the negative in everything, and complaining about all of it. I just haven't felt like myself.
Saturday, I had this amazing opportunity. My church organized a free yard sale in the poor section of the community. We didn't expect them to come to us. We didn't attach strings (like making them sit through a two hour presentation on the gospel before they could take anything). We just tried to show love without conditions. Because love can change the world.
While we were organizing this and after, one person kept making comments to me and to others about how I wasn't helping. He said this because while he was folding clothes, I was in my office working. While he was here Friday, I (on my only day off) went grocery shopping, did laundry, and went to pick up a guy who wanted to help but needed a ride and lived over a half hour away.
You see, my job is mainly a behind the scenes guy. As I write this, I am waiting for a sermon MP3 to format to load on the church website. So I did up front things, behind the scenes things, and was here in evenings when this guy wasn't. So when I was on this high, I was also low.
Well, yesterday, I had an epiphony. If you've never read the book Wild at Heart by John Eldridge, I highly recommend it. It is a personal favortie of mine. It is about restoring genuine masculinity as God intended it. It is about being a warrior, carrying on the fight. As you would imagine, this has become a defining imagery for me.
Anyway, one thing he talks about is that each man has a Wound. This Wound is the place where his heart has been pierced, and his strength has been stolen. (Women, reading and understanding this will help you understand the men around you.) Really, every man has the question on his heart. The question can be worded many ways, and in the same way, now words can fully express it. "Am I enough? Am I strong enough? Am I man enough? Do I have what it takes?"
In some way, this question has been answered "no." My dad was a large, physically impressive man in my childhood. He had a strength to match his great size. He had me work construction with him. I learned a lot of things that way. But I also got my Wound. Dad always wanted me to lift more than I could carry to help him. And he always wanted me to hurry faster. I would be moving as fast as I could burdened with a heavy load, and he would say "my dead grandmother can move faster than that."
What I learned was that because I was smaller and weaker, I was not enough. I had to work harder. Since then I have been trying to work harder, being the first to volunteer and trying to prove to everyone that I am not lazy.
That's what I realized yesterday. For six weeks, Satan had plunged his dagger into the weak spot in my armor AND I DIDN'T NOTICE. Once I realized that, it was as if a great burden was lifted from me. Now, I've got the dagger out, shield up, and I'm ready to do some beating down with my sword. I'm ticked. I'm angry. I'm ready for the fight.
On a related note, this is why I have a hard time accepting gifts, praise, or affection. I feel that I have to earn everything. And I feel that I can never work hard enough to earn anything. For example, my dad would yell at me all day, then tell my mom how hard that I worked and he is proud of me. That screwed me up.
When I fell away from God for a time, it was largely because I was trying to earn grace, which is a free gift from God, and I wouldn't accept anything free. That's why our free yard sale made a difference in the community. It was utterly free, without conditions or strings. So do something nice, something free, for someone that you care about. And if it is me, don't be offended if I struggle with accepting it. It is not a lack of gratitude. It is a lack of feeling worthy on my part. Don't mistake it for humilty either. Insecurity can be just as pride filled as anything.
Saturday, I had this amazing opportunity. My church organized a free yard sale in the poor section of the community. We didn't expect them to come to us. We didn't attach strings (like making them sit through a two hour presentation on the gospel before they could take anything). We just tried to show love without conditions. Because love can change the world.
While we were organizing this and after, one person kept making comments to me and to others about how I wasn't helping. He said this because while he was folding clothes, I was in my office working. While he was here Friday, I (on my only day off) went grocery shopping, did laundry, and went to pick up a guy who wanted to help but needed a ride and lived over a half hour away.
You see, my job is mainly a behind the scenes guy. As I write this, I am waiting for a sermon MP3 to format to load on the church website. So I did up front things, behind the scenes things, and was here in evenings when this guy wasn't. So when I was on this high, I was also low.
Well, yesterday, I had an epiphony. If you've never read the book Wild at Heart by John Eldridge, I highly recommend it. It is a personal favortie of mine. It is about restoring genuine masculinity as God intended it. It is about being a warrior, carrying on the fight. As you would imagine, this has become a defining imagery for me.
Anyway, one thing he talks about is that each man has a Wound. This Wound is the place where his heart has been pierced, and his strength has been stolen. (Women, reading and understanding this will help you understand the men around you.) Really, every man has the question on his heart. The question can be worded many ways, and in the same way, now words can fully express it. "Am I enough? Am I strong enough? Am I man enough? Do I have what it takes?"
In some way, this question has been answered "no." My dad was a large, physically impressive man in my childhood. He had a strength to match his great size. He had me work construction with him. I learned a lot of things that way. But I also got my Wound. Dad always wanted me to lift more than I could carry to help him. And he always wanted me to hurry faster. I would be moving as fast as I could burdened with a heavy load, and he would say "my dead grandmother can move faster than that."
What I learned was that because I was smaller and weaker, I was not enough. I had to work harder. Since then I have been trying to work harder, being the first to volunteer and trying to prove to everyone that I am not lazy.
That's what I realized yesterday. For six weeks, Satan had plunged his dagger into the weak spot in my armor AND I DIDN'T NOTICE. Once I realized that, it was as if a great burden was lifted from me. Now, I've got the dagger out, shield up, and I'm ready to do some beating down with my sword. I'm ticked. I'm angry. I'm ready for the fight.
On a related note, this is why I have a hard time accepting gifts, praise, or affection. I feel that I have to earn everything. And I feel that I can never work hard enough to earn anything. For example, my dad would yell at me all day, then tell my mom how hard that I worked and he is proud of me. That screwed me up.
When I fell away from God for a time, it was largely because I was trying to earn grace, which is a free gift from God, and I wouldn't accept anything free. That's why our free yard sale made a difference in the community. It was utterly free, without conditions or strings. So do something nice, something free, for someone that you care about. And if it is me, don't be offended if I struggle with accepting it. It is not a lack of gratitude. It is a lack of feeling worthy on my part. Don't mistake it for humilty either. Insecurity can be just as pride filled as anything.
Monday, May 3, 2010
The Lies We Tell
I would say that the deadliest poison in our society is pornography. Why the deadliest? Because it does not kill people. It destroys families, homes, lives, even societies. Did you know that in the middle east, America is known as the Great Satan? They use our TV shows and internet as proof. Its all pornographic, showing, in their minds, our evil.
I've seen way too many families, homes, people, churches, careers brought down by pornography. It is deadly. Part of its deadliness is that it comes in a variety of forms. It also does not seem that bad. Many today say that is it "normal" and that "everyone does it." But its not. You also hear "I looked, but I didn't touch" and "it doesn't hurt anyone." ALL LIES.
True, pornography has been found in ancient Greece and Rome, places known for depravity. From the greek, we derive the word "Hedonism." If you argue that its normal because it is so old, than so is murder and pediophilea. Not everyone does it. Most do not, especially in most cultures. As far as the other two, it does hurt other people. If a man looks as porn, it hurts his wife. But I'm going to get to that. And as far as the user, 40% of men have a "serious problem" meaning addiction.
I've seen way too many families, homes, people, churches, careers brought down by pornography. It is deadly. Part of its deadliness is that it comes in a variety of forms. It also does not seem that bad. Many today say that is it "normal" and that "everyone does it." But its not. You also hear "I looked, but I didn't touch" and "it doesn't hurt anyone." ALL LIES.
True, pornography has been found in ancient Greece and Rome, places known for depravity. From the greek, we derive the word "Hedonism." If you argue that its normal because it is so old, than so is murder and pediophilea. Not everyone does it. Most do not, especially in most cultures. As far as the other two, it does hurt other people. If a man looks as porn, it hurts his wife. But I'm going to get to that. And as far as the user, 40% of men have a "serious problem" meaning addiction.
When we think of porn today, we think of what is known as "hard core" pornography. But it means more. Websters defines pornography as
- the depiction of erotic behavior (as in pictures or writing) intended to cause sexual excitement
- material (as a book or photograph that depicts erotic behavior and is intended to cause sexual excitement.
If you're paying attention, anything designed to make you aroused is porn. This includes TV, music videos, movies, posters, Victoria's Secret catalogues, etc. It can be virtually anything. Making it that much more subtle and dangerous. Psychologists also say that viewing such things imprints the memory in ways few other things do. It stays with you. It is always there to recall. It is a poison with barbs. Once it gets in, it doesn't leave. I know from experience. They poison stays with me.
Men have a question that we always ask, deep in our hearts. "Do I have what it takes? Am I strong enough? Am I a real man?" The question takes a variety of wordings, but it all comes down to the fear that when we are called upon to stand strong, when we are tested, we won't be enough. This is especially true in our relationships with the opposite sex (impotence literally translated means "without power").
When we turn to porn, the lie we tell ourselves is that these women do these things FOR US. It makes us feel like they believe in us. Sadly, what men do to make ourselves feel adequet is the same thing that makes women feel inadequet, like they aren't beautiful enough to please us. (Not that they exist to please us, but it makes still makes them feel not enough) You can see how the poison destroys the bond of a husband and wife. He feels not enough, so he turns to porn. She catches him, they argue, and she withdraws and withholds herself. He feels more inadequet, and goes back to porn. Their relationship dies, as does their individual selves. Porn destroys not just the consumer, but those around him.
I hope that this helps men understand why they are drawn to it, why they need it. And I hope women can understand it's not because they aren't beautiful enough, but because we feel SO WEAK. Don't take this as an excuse, but maybe enough understanding to help us survive.
Thursday, April 8, 2010
Recent convo
I have been watching a recent conversation on facebook between a teenage boy I know and three girls. One girl is not talking to the boy. The other two are on her side. The boy has no idea why. The girls refuse to tell him, keeping him lost.
This is SO STUPID. Yet, it also happens daily. I said in my first post that I believe the genders are equal, yet completely different. There are barriers which keep us from understanding each other. Now I don't think we need to be the same. If we were, one would be unnecessary. I believe that God reveals different parts of his character through each gender. I also believe Satan attacks us through these differences. One example, in a survey of different married couples across America, a doctor (who happened to be a woman) asked couples to do a simples exercise. "Imagine you had to chose between love and respect. If you would rather have love, go to my right. If you would rather have respect, go to my left." The women lined up, not surprisingly, on the right, wanting love. The surprise came to her when EVERY MAN SURVEYED went to the left, wanting respect. This result caught her completely off guard.
I have experienced the same. My ex-girlfriend of years past showed me little trust. She asked me if I believed in the passages that teach for wives to submit to husbands. She assumed no, because of my great respect for her. I answered "well, it is in the Bible..." I tried to teach her several thing, like first NO WHERE does the Bible tell me to force their wives to submit. This is a willing act of the wife. Second, men are supposed to love their wives with the self-sacrificing love of Jesus. We argued for a long time, her failing to believe what I said was my belief on those passages. "Bottom line," I told her, "is if you cannot submit to me and trust that I will not abuse that, we have no business getting married." I gave her a chance, but broke it off. She did not trust me. She would not respect me as I needed. We loved, but she could not respect me as I needed.
Back to the conversation. I have heard many women (who I only partially blame. TV and women around them have trained them behave like this) make similar statements like "If you don't know, I'm not going to tell you." Speaking on behalf of all men, IF WE KNEW, WE WOULDN'T NEED TO BE TOLD! Let me say this about women. Women are wonderful and beautiful and complex. But I think part of the problem comes that women assume that men are complex too.
We aren't. You are talking to a gender that farts for entertainment. We are simple. Some might even say (fairly accurately) we are dumb. Bottom line is that we are clueless. When we say we don't know, we aren't lying. We have NO IDEA. Also, ladies, I want you to understand something. When you ask a man what he is thinking and he says "Nothing," he ain't lying! Men require time of thinking nothing. Its like defragmenting a computer. I know women are incapable of understanding that men shut their brains off (well, maybe you can understand by watching America's Funniest Videos). You are a jumble of wires, with serveral thoughts buzzing around at the same time. We are a stack of boxes. We can only think of one thing at a time, and before we can move to another box, we have to put away the previous one. Trying to get us into multiple boxes only frustrates us. And allow us our time in the "Nothing" box. Why do you think we invented TV?
So here's the thing ladies, when we have no idea, just explain it to us. Otherwise, you just have to accept our "I'm sorry" when you and we both know we have no idea what we're supposed to be apologizing for. Just accept the effort and move on.
This is SO STUPID. Yet, it also happens daily. I said in my first post that I believe the genders are equal, yet completely different. There are barriers which keep us from understanding each other. Now I don't think we need to be the same. If we were, one would be unnecessary. I believe that God reveals different parts of his character through each gender. I also believe Satan attacks us through these differences. One example, in a survey of different married couples across America, a doctor (who happened to be a woman) asked couples to do a simples exercise. "Imagine you had to chose between love and respect. If you would rather have love, go to my right. If you would rather have respect, go to my left." The women lined up, not surprisingly, on the right, wanting love. The surprise came to her when EVERY MAN SURVEYED went to the left, wanting respect. This result caught her completely off guard.
I have experienced the same. My ex-girlfriend of years past showed me little trust. She asked me if I believed in the passages that teach for wives to submit to husbands. She assumed no, because of my great respect for her. I answered "well, it is in the Bible..." I tried to teach her several thing, like first NO WHERE does the Bible tell me to force their wives to submit. This is a willing act of the wife. Second, men are supposed to love their wives with the self-sacrificing love of Jesus. We argued for a long time, her failing to believe what I said was my belief on those passages. "Bottom line," I told her, "is if you cannot submit to me and trust that I will not abuse that, we have no business getting married." I gave her a chance, but broke it off. She did not trust me. She would not respect me as I needed. We loved, but she could not respect me as I needed.
Back to the conversation. I have heard many women (who I only partially blame. TV and women around them have trained them behave like this) make similar statements like "If you don't know, I'm not going to tell you." Speaking on behalf of all men, IF WE KNEW, WE WOULDN'T NEED TO BE TOLD! Let me say this about women. Women are wonderful and beautiful and complex. But I think part of the problem comes that women assume that men are complex too.
We aren't. You are talking to a gender that farts for entertainment. We are simple. Some might even say (fairly accurately) we are dumb. Bottom line is that we are clueless. When we say we don't know, we aren't lying. We have NO IDEA. Also, ladies, I want you to understand something. When you ask a man what he is thinking and he says "Nothing," he ain't lying! Men require time of thinking nothing. Its like defragmenting a computer. I know women are incapable of understanding that men shut their brains off (well, maybe you can understand by watching America's Funniest Videos). You are a jumble of wires, with serveral thoughts buzzing around at the same time. We are a stack of boxes. We can only think of one thing at a time, and before we can move to another box, we have to put away the previous one. Trying to get us into multiple boxes only frustrates us. And allow us our time in the "Nothing" box. Why do you think we invented TV?
So here's the thing ladies, when we have no idea, just explain it to us. Otherwise, you just have to accept our "I'm sorry" when you and we both know we have no idea what we're supposed to be apologizing for. Just accept the effort and move on.
Saturday, January 2, 2010
Beginning
I don't know what I want from this blog. I want it to be a blog without a face, just a perspective. I am a man of strong belief, conviction, spirituality. I am, what I am. No more, no less. I have a public job, which due to internal politics, requires me to be restrained. This will not be.
To those that know me, I think they can figure out who this is. I do not hide who I am, just my opinions. For this rest of you, I live in the United States. I have become disillusioned with the country of my birth. It irritates me that our President ran on a campaign of change, but everything he does that people complain about, he shrugs his shoulders and says, "Bush did it." WE DON'T WANT BUSH! I believe that both the House and Senate are corrupt. I also disagree with the politicians of both parties. I do not believe that the solution to our problems can happen by them. They got us into this mess. Now they should get out of the way and less us handle it, the way this country was intended.
You should also know that I am a man, and believe that gender differences are not incidental. I do NOT believe men are better than women. Most of my life I believed the opposite, but have lately come to learn that they are not unequal, but still not the same. I believe that all women have a beauty that has been stolen from them, men have a wild nature that we have been taught is bad. I also believe that most "men" are still boys who never grew up, never learned what it means to be apart of a bigger purpose, never learned what it means to put anything (including their spouses) before their own pursuit of pleasure, mostly through porn. As you can tell, I am passionate about these issues and will write on them frequently.
I believe that most race issues would be gone, except that political agendas separate and alienate us to keep us under their feet. And no, I do not intend to tell you of which race I am.
Well, I think this is a good start. I don't know if anyone will read this, but if you do I ask that any comments that are left be meant for discussion, not argument. The main differences being that in a discussion, you treat people with respect, disagreeing with the ideas, not belittling the person (many, especially in the political realm, can no longer do this). The other difference is in a discussion, you ACTUALLY LISTEN to the other person's point of view.
To those that know me, I think they can figure out who this is. I do not hide who I am, just my opinions. For this rest of you, I live in the United States. I have become disillusioned with the country of my birth. It irritates me that our President ran on a campaign of change, but everything he does that people complain about, he shrugs his shoulders and says, "Bush did it." WE DON'T WANT BUSH! I believe that both the House and Senate are corrupt. I also disagree with the politicians of both parties. I do not believe that the solution to our problems can happen by them. They got us into this mess. Now they should get out of the way and less us handle it, the way this country was intended.
You should also know that I am a man, and believe that gender differences are not incidental. I do NOT believe men are better than women. Most of my life I believed the opposite, but have lately come to learn that they are not unequal, but still not the same. I believe that all women have a beauty that has been stolen from them, men have a wild nature that we have been taught is bad. I also believe that most "men" are still boys who never grew up, never learned what it means to be apart of a bigger purpose, never learned what it means to put anything (including their spouses) before their own pursuit of pleasure, mostly through porn. As you can tell, I am passionate about these issues and will write on them frequently.
I believe that most race issues would be gone, except that political agendas separate and alienate us to keep us under their feet. And no, I do not intend to tell you of which race I am.
Well, I think this is a good start. I don't know if anyone will read this, but if you do I ask that any comments that are left be meant for discussion, not argument. The main differences being that in a discussion, you treat people with respect, disagreeing with the ideas, not belittling the person (many, especially in the political realm, can no longer do this). The other difference is in a discussion, you ACTUALLY LISTEN to the other person's point of view.
Subscribe to:
Posts (Atom)