I came across a really interesting blog entry by someone else. Well worth the couple of minutes it takes to read it. Enjoy!
http://www.becomegoodsoil.com/castration-a-case-for-carrying-a-knife/
Showing posts with label men. Show all posts
Showing posts with label men. Show all posts
Friday, February 21, 2014
Thursday, February 21, 2013
Bad advice for women
So there's been some bad advice making the rounds lately. Colorado State Rep. Joe Salazar (D) said last week that women shouldn't be allowed to own guns. He argued that women can't be trusted with guns, because if they feel like someone is following them, they might "pop off" at them with the gun, fearing being raped. He argued that women don't need guns in case of rape, because there are call boxes were you can call for police, as well as whistles that you can blow to scare them away.
Another Colorado lawmaker advocated that women that are being raped should claim to have an STD and pee themselves to dissuade an attack.
Vice President Joe Biden had the best advice for women, saying "Go buy a shotgun." That's great defense for at home (one that I too would advocate for). Then he proceeded to be dumb. He said he told his wife to take the double-barrel twelve gauge, go out on the balcony, and fire two blasts into the air. That's great to scare off a burglar, but what if someone is actively seeking to harm her? Now she's trapped with no where to go and a shotgun with no ammo. Now all she's done is give away her location.
I have a widowed mother, a sister, and a one-year old niece. I told my mother that if someone breaks into her house, take a shotgun and blow them away. More accurately, I told her to cut them in half. I'm not going to mention what my mother or sister possess, because that's no body's business but theirs.
My point is, who is to say that men are more responsible than women? One of the best hunters I know is a lady from church. And I would guess (just guess mind you; I didn't look it up) that most violent crimes are committed by men. This is the same "women can't drive" or "women shouldn't vote" crap, at least from these CO representatives (though probably not the Vice President). And conservatives are accused of sexism!
So let me give some more accurate advice.
Another Colorado lawmaker advocated that women that are being raped should claim to have an STD and pee themselves to dissuade an attack.
Vice President Joe Biden had the best advice for women, saying "Go buy a shotgun." That's great defense for at home (one that I too would advocate for). Then he proceeded to be dumb. He said he told his wife to take the double-barrel twelve gauge, go out on the balcony, and fire two blasts into the air. That's great to scare off a burglar, but what if someone is actively seeking to harm her? Now she's trapped with no where to go and a shotgun with no ammo. Now all she's done is give away her location.
I have a widowed mother, a sister, and a one-year old niece. I told my mother that if someone breaks into her house, take a shotgun and blow them away. More accurately, I told her to cut them in half. I'm not going to mention what my mother or sister possess, because that's no body's business but theirs.
My point is, who is to say that men are more responsible than women? One of the best hunters I know is a lady from church. And I would guess (just guess mind you; I didn't look it up) that most violent crimes are committed by men. This is the same "women can't drive" or "women shouldn't vote" crap, at least from these CO representatives (though probably not the Vice President). And conservatives are accused of sexism!
So let me give some more accurate advice.
- Don't buy a double barrel shotgun. By the pump action. It holds more rounds, plus every bad guy in the country knows the sound of a round being chambered by the pump. That in and of itself is usually enough to stop the robbery.
- Vice President Biden said a twelve gauge is harder to handle than an AR-15. That's actually backwards. Most AR-15s are not fully automatic, and the smaller round give them much less kick, so they're actually easier to handle. Shotgun kick so hard they hurt. A lot. Still, though some choose the AR-15 for self defense, I would rather stick with the shotgun. For home defense, I would recommend a 20 gauge (the larger the number, the smaller the round). This would be much easier to handle.
- Shotguns are great for home, but you get odd looks if you carry one all the time. Mace and stun guns can help, but if you live in a dangerous area and feel you want a gun, go with a 9mm.
- This is the most important rule. ONLY get a firearm AFTER you have had proper training. There are a few basic rules, like always treat a gun like it's loaded, even if it isn't. Because sometimes people think its empty, until they shoot their friend. You also need to know that you always treat a gun like the safety's off, because accidents happen. And you never point a gun at ANYTHING that you don't want to kill/destroy. You also need to learn how that particular weapon operates, how to aim safely, and how to maintain the weapon.
Monday, February 18, 2013
Longing for Chivarly
Saturday night I did something that I've never done before. I called the cops. I was sitting at home, watching a DVD on my couch when I heard a "smack" sound, followed by a muffled sound. So I paused the movie and listened. That's when I heard it. It was a much louder "SMACK!" (The distinctive sound of flesh hitting flesh.) followed by a woman's scream, then a woman crying.
I jumped up and ran outside, barefoot in temperatures in the teens, and listened. It was coming from the apartment next door, which I confirmed standing outside the door. I could hear the crying woman saying "I'm sorry! I can't help it." There was a reply from another female voice.
I ran back inside and paced for but a moment, trying to decide whether to go in, or call 911. I finally settled on the latter, though it took every once of restraint to not go over there with a baseball bat or the hatchet I use for camping and try to rescue the person who had just been beaten. I reported in great detail who I was, where I was, and what I had heard. The only thing that kept me still from going over there was fear of cops showing up to find me breaking into an apartment armed.
Here's the really disappointing thing. Two and a half hours later, when I went to bed (I had to work the next morning), no cops had come. No one even came to investigate. What's the point in calling for help if you report that you are an eyewitness (or in my case earwitness) to a crime and they don't even come to investigate. This isn't New York. I don't live in that big of a city. I shouldn't take time to get someone there, especially is a person is in danger.
Maybe that's why chivalry is dead. It is legally inconvenient. If I tried to help, I'd be charged, while the assailant would get away with it. But every instinct, every longing within me, wanted to be the hero, wanted to come to the rescue. Most men want nothing more than to be seen as a hero in the eyes of the woman they love. That's why men love action heroes. John McClain rescues Holly. Kyle Reese gives his life to stop the Terminator and save Sara Conner. James Bond shoots the big bad and gets the girl.
Yet, at the same time, men watch movies and play video games because we're afraid. We're afraid that we're too weak, just like Adam. Most people don't know this about the early chapters of Genesis, but Adam was made first. God told Adam not to eat from the one tree. Then God made Eve. Adam told Eve what God said. When the serpent came around, he asked Eve "Did God really say don't eat that?" She looked at Adam, and he SAID NOTHING. He could have stopped it, but he failed. He was there, and he didn't do anything. It's right there in Genesis 3:6. He was there and did nothing. That's why he got the harsher curse. 1 Timothy 2 explained that Eve was deceived, while Adam sinned willingly. And we (men) all fear that when we are put to the test, that we won't be enough. So in our fear, we hide. We try to avoid the test. In doing so, we fail by our silence, just like Adam did.
So I hope I did the right thing. I did what I legally could do. I wasn't silent. I spoke up, and put my name to it. Still, I wish I could have been a knight in shining armor instead of some guy with a cell phone.
I jumped up and ran outside, barefoot in temperatures in the teens, and listened. It was coming from the apartment next door, which I confirmed standing outside the door. I could hear the crying woman saying "I'm sorry! I can't help it." There was a reply from another female voice.
I ran back inside and paced for but a moment, trying to decide whether to go in, or call 911. I finally settled on the latter, though it took every once of restraint to not go over there with a baseball bat or the hatchet I use for camping and try to rescue the person who had just been beaten. I reported in great detail who I was, where I was, and what I had heard. The only thing that kept me still from going over there was fear of cops showing up to find me breaking into an apartment armed.
Here's the really disappointing thing. Two and a half hours later, when I went to bed (I had to work the next morning), no cops had come. No one even came to investigate. What's the point in calling for help if you report that you are an eyewitness (or in my case earwitness) to a crime and they don't even come to investigate. This isn't New York. I don't live in that big of a city. I shouldn't take time to get someone there, especially is a person is in danger.
Maybe that's why chivalry is dead. It is legally inconvenient. If I tried to help, I'd be charged, while the assailant would get away with it. But every instinct, every longing within me, wanted to be the hero, wanted to come to the rescue. Most men want nothing more than to be seen as a hero in the eyes of the woman they love. That's why men love action heroes. John McClain rescues Holly. Kyle Reese gives his life to stop the Terminator and save Sara Conner. James Bond shoots the big bad and gets the girl.
Yet, at the same time, men watch movies and play video games because we're afraid. We're afraid that we're too weak, just like Adam. Most people don't know this about the early chapters of Genesis, but Adam was made first. God told Adam not to eat from the one tree. Then God made Eve. Adam told Eve what God said. When the serpent came around, he asked Eve "Did God really say don't eat that?" She looked at Adam, and he SAID NOTHING. He could have stopped it, but he failed. He was there, and he didn't do anything. It's right there in Genesis 3:6. He was there and did nothing. That's why he got the harsher curse. 1 Timothy 2 explained that Eve was deceived, while Adam sinned willingly. And we (men) all fear that when we are put to the test, that we won't be enough. So in our fear, we hide. We try to avoid the test. In doing so, we fail by our silence, just like Adam did.
So I hope I did the right thing. I did what I legally could do. I wasn't silent. I spoke up, and put my name to it. Still, I wish I could have been a knight in shining armor instead of some guy with a cell phone.
Tuesday, August 28, 2012
Vow of the Modern Knight
The Knight
We live in a day when we are in need of knights. We need warriors who are willing to fight for things that truly matter. As a knight for today, I take this oath.
A knight does not serve himself. He serves a king. I surrender myself totally to the King of Kings. I will obey him in every area of my life. I withhold nothing from myself. I completely and totally surrender. I will obey His every command. I will go on every quest, no matter how dangerous, no matter how deadly, no matter the cost to myself.
Isaiah 6:8, Luke 9:23, 12:51, Romans 6:22-23, 12:1, Rev 19:11-16
A knight is a warrior. We live in a world at war. I pledge to fight. I pledge to defend myself from the attacks of Satan, using the armor God has given me. I will use the weapons God has given me, the sword of His Word and prayer. I will not fight alone, but with my King. I was not meant to fight alone, but alongside my fellow knights. I will lead when others will only follow. I will not get caught alone and be an easy target for the Enemy and his minions. I will fight alongside others. I will defend those who cannot defend themselves. I will join the King on His mission to storm the gates of Hell itself and set free those held captive there. I understand that this is a dangerous mission and that many have fallen in the undertaking of it. That is why I will surround myself with prayer, with the armor of the King, and with knights who do the same.
Exodus 15:3, Ephesians 6:10-18, Romans 8:37-39, Rev. 20:10
The Virtues of the Knight
The first virtue of the knight is integrity. Someone once said, “Integrity is doing the right thing when no one is looking.” I will strive to be a man of integrity. I will be the same man whether I am being watched or not. Whether I am with my family, with my church, with my friends, or with myself, I will do the right thing. I will live my life built on a foundation of the King of Kings and His Word. I vow have integrity in every area of my life. I will obey the King in every area of my life. No area will be off limits to Him. I will have integrity in even the small things. No exceptions, just obedience.
Matthew 7:24-27, Psalm 24:3-5, Psalm 25:21, 41:12, Proverbs 10:9, Titus 2:7-8
A knight will be a man of courage. I will not let fear hold me. I refuse to be imprisoned by its power. Fear is a great weapon of the Enemy. I will not stay a hostage of my fear. The Enemy cannot stand with the power of the King. The servants of the King are far stronger than the minions of the Enemy. The Enemy is already defeated. His tactics are of the weak and desperate. I will not let my fear control me. There is no bravery without fear. I refuse to surrender. I refuse to die. I will be a man of courage.
Proverbs 28:1, Hebrews 13:6, 2 Timothy 1:7, 1 Corinthians 16:13, Matthew 14:27, 2 Kings 6:16
I will be a knight of compassion. I will seek to truly help the poor, not just give a token dollar to appease guilt. I will fight for justice for those who are oppressed. I will strive for freedom for slaves. I will try to provide food for the hungry, drink for the thirsty. And I will treat those that I meet daily with compassion.
Luke 4:18-19, Isaiah 58:6, Matthew 25:31-46, 1 John 3:17-18, James 1:27
As a knight, I will strive for self-control. I will discipline my body, my mind, and my heart. Satan will try to take me out of the fight through self-indulgence. I will fight him through self-discipline. I will read and memorize Scripture. I will read devotional books and books to help me lead others. I will keep my guard up. I will flee temptation. I will control my body and my weight. I vow to discipline myself.
1 Timothy 4:8, Galatians 5:22-23, 2 Peter 1:5-8, Hebrews 12:11, 1 Corinthians 9:24-27
A knight will speak with honesty. I will not tell a lie, no matter how small it seems. My world will be my bond. I will keep the commitments that I make to the best of my ability. I will in no way deceive anyone for any reason. My “yes” will mean yes and my “no” no. My word will be trustworthy.
Ephesians 4:15,25, Ephesians 6:14, Matthew 5:33-37
As a knight, I will strive for humility. I will remember that I am only a servant of the King. I will think more of others than I do myself. I will give glory to Jesus in all things. Max Lucado wrote, “Humility is not thinking less of yourself. It is thinking of yourself less.”
Matthew 20:25-28, Philippians 2:3, Colossians 3:12, James 3:13, 1Peter 5:5, Psalm 8:3-4,
Proverbs 16:18
As a knight, I will live with purity. I will keep my mind and body pure. I will not allow myself to be diluted by the lusts and desires of the world. Many things in this world are intended to corrupt man and take away the pureness of his heart, mind, and soul but I will fight against these things to keep my purity. I will keep my eyes clean. I will keep my mind pure by memorizing the Word. I will also be pure in my devotion to the One and Only King in Heaven. No other idols will take me captive or break my whole devotion to the King of Kings.
1 Corinthians 6:18-20, Psalm 119:9, 1 Timothy 4:12, Mark 7:21-23, Matthew 5:48
Another virtue of the knight is perseverance. This world has many hardships. I will joyfully endure them, seeking only to be transformed more into the likeness of the King. No matter the trail, I will seek only to be obedient and to become the man I was meant to be. No matter the battle, I will continue to fight. I will endure and help others to endure. I will seek out relationships that will help me keep to the path.
James 1:2-4, James 1:12, 1 Corinthians 9:24-27, Hebrews 12:1, Romans 5:1-5, Matthew 7:24-27
A knight will strive for patience. A knight will show understanding. I will let mistakes go, since I have made my share. I will try to empathize with others, especially in their anger, to see things from their perspective and attempt to root out the deeper issues, knowing that sometimes people just need an ear to listen.
Proverbs 16:32, Ephesians 4:2, Galatians 5:22-23, James 1:19
Another virtue of the knight is loyalty. I swear allegiance to the King. I will let nothing stand between Him and me. I will loyally defend my brothers and sisters in Christ through accountability, transparency, and prayer.
1 Samuel 20:42, Hosea 6:6 (NASB), 1 Chronicles 29:18
A knight will work with excellence. In all things, I will work to please the king, and therefore do my best. Hard work is also a virtue of the knight. I will not flinch. I will not hesitate. I will not leave it for others. I will do the work that needs done. I will be a servant for all. I will work not to earn the love of my King, since I cannot do so, but I will work as my act of gratitude for what the king has done for me.
Ephesians 2:10, Ephesians 6:7-8, Matthew 25:14-46, Luke 17:7-10, Revelation 2:2
Relationships of the Knight
The King. I will obey the king in all areas of my life. And I will love the king with everything that I am and everything that I do. I will study His Word and apply it to my life. I will seek daily to build a closer walk with Him.
Deuteronomy 6:4-5
The lady. I will treat women with respect, as daughters of the King. I will only seek deeper relationships with those that will help me grow closer to the King. I will seek to do the same for her. I will put her above myself and my work, understanding that the first person I should serve is her. And I will love her with self-sacrifice and undying commitment despite wavering emotions or what I get out of it. I seek not a servant nor a princess, but a partner.
Ephesians 5:25-33
Children. I will disciple my own kids. I will make it my first priority to help them to be loyal to the King. The best way to love them is to love their mother. I will help sons to see their strength and to become warriors. I will help daughters to see their beauty and their value.
Ephesians 6:4
Church. I will lead the church by being a servant. I will stand as a shepherd to guide, and a watchman to protect. It is not my church, but the King’s. I understand that I cannot lead from above; I must be with them. I will feed them. I will make disciples. I will seek others with whom I can walk through life. And I will train up other leaders to serve the King and His church.
Jeremiah 23:1-2, Ezekiel 3:17-19,
The lost. I will follow the King in His mission to seek and save the lost, by whatever means necessary. I will remember that I am not superior to them, but “a fellow beggar showing others where to find bread.”
Matthew 28:18-20, Acts1:8
The World. I will not be swayed, deterred, or distracted by the world and following the crowd. No matter how unpopular, I will obey the King as He leads me. I will not seek the world’s interests or possessions.
Exodus 23:2a, Galatians 1:10, 1 John 2:15-17
The Enemy. I will fight the enemy until all my strength is spent, and then I will rely on the strength of the King. I will seek to storm his strongholds and set free his captives. I know that he has lost the war. I will still fight the battles.
Ephesians 6:10-12, Revelation 20:10
Psalm 119
In adding my name in comment, I take this vow.
Wednesday, February 29, 2012
Integrity
One of the most troubling things in our culture is the lack of integrity. Integrity is a complicated term, but one that is a chief value that I was raised with. As my personal code of the Knight 4 Today, this is one of the top virtues.
Before I was ordained into ministry, one of the questions that I was asked was "What is the most important quality of a leader?" After a few seconds thought, I answered "Integrity." What is integrity?
There is a famous quote about integrity. "Integrity is doing the right thing, even when no one is looking." Just really think about that for a moment. Who are you when no one is looking? How honest is your tax return? How many "little white lies" do you tell, when you know no one will find out? How do you act around your friends? How do you treat your family? Are you different at church than alone?
But this is only one definition of integrity, according to Websters (their technical definition to this is "firm adherence to a code of especially moral or artistic values; incorruptability"). The second they give is "unimpaired condition; soundness." Think of it like building a building. I don't care what color you paint the room if the foundation is crumbling and the supports are rotting. I've been house hunting lately, so know what this looks like. You may appear fine on the surface, but how's your heart? This week a kid walked into his high school and shot five people, killing three (so far). His friend said "This doesn't make any sense. He bottled stuff up, but this just doesn't seem like him." The paint was fine, but the structure was rotten. He was unsound. This leaves a simple question: do we do right to avoid getting in trouble, or do you do right because your heart is good?
The third definition is one we need in this culture. "The quality and state of being complete and undivided." That's what we need. Many people in our society go to church. Yet, they say that is their "religous compartment." It's like a set of dresser drawers. They go to church, but close that drawer. At work they lie and steal and tell inappropriate jokes. Those people don't even know that they go to church, which is why they don't invite those people to church. Then after work, they go to the bar and get drunk, maybe even have a one-night stand. Or they go home and treat their families like dirt, before jumping on the internet to feed their porn addiction, then wonder why their wives don't feel affectionate (ok, small rant there). The point is, they say that their religious compartment doesn't affect the rest of their lives. That's the opposite of integrity.
I was once asked "What do you want your tombstone to say?" My answer is simple, "Minister of the Gospel; Man of Integrity." My worst fear is not heights, or any other things that I fear. My greatest fear is to lose everything because of sexual misconduct, because I've seen so many men (especially leaders) taken out of the fight for that very reason. I want to be a man of integrity, above all else.
I'm thinking about developing an Oath for the Modern Knight, specifically for a young man I've been mentoring. If I do, integrity will be a key virtue of the modern day knight. If you want to be a Knight 4 Today too, vow with me to strive for true integrity.
Before I was ordained into ministry, one of the questions that I was asked was "What is the most important quality of a leader?" After a few seconds thought, I answered "Integrity." What is integrity?
There is a famous quote about integrity. "Integrity is doing the right thing, even when no one is looking." Just really think about that for a moment. Who are you when no one is looking? How honest is your tax return? How many "little white lies" do you tell, when you know no one will find out? How do you act around your friends? How do you treat your family? Are you different at church than alone?
But this is only one definition of integrity, according to Websters (their technical definition to this is "firm adherence to a code of especially moral or artistic values; incorruptability"). The second they give is "unimpaired condition; soundness." Think of it like building a building. I don't care what color you paint the room if the foundation is crumbling and the supports are rotting. I've been house hunting lately, so know what this looks like. You may appear fine on the surface, but how's your heart? This week a kid walked into his high school and shot five people, killing three (so far). His friend said "This doesn't make any sense. He bottled stuff up, but this just doesn't seem like him." The paint was fine, but the structure was rotten. He was unsound. This leaves a simple question: do we do right to avoid getting in trouble, or do you do right because your heart is good?
The third definition is one we need in this culture. "The quality and state of being complete and undivided." That's what we need. Many people in our society go to church. Yet, they say that is their "religous compartment." It's like a set of dresser drawers. They go to church, but close that drawer. At work they lie and steal and tell inappropriate jokes. Those people don't even know that they go to church, which is why they don't invite those people to church. Then after work, they go to the bar and get drunk, maybe even have a one-night stand. Or they go home and treat their families like dirt, before jumping on the internet to feed their porn addiction, then wonder why their wives don't feel affectionate (ok, small rant there). The point is, they say that their religious compartment doesn't affect the rest of their lives. That's the opposite of integrity.
I was once asked "What do you want your tombstone to say?" My answer is simple, "Minister of the Gospel; Man of Integrity." My worst fear is not heights, or any other things that I fear. My greatest fear is to lose everything because of sexual misconduct, because I've seen so many men (especially leaders) taken out of the fight for that very reason. I want to be a man of integrity, above all else.
I'm thinking about developing an Oath for the Modern Knight, specifically for a young man I've been mentoring. If I do, integrity will be a key virtue of the modern day knight. If you want to be a Knight 4 Today too, vow with me to strive for true integrity.
Saturday, February 26, 2011
To my future wife
Now I don't know if I will ever get married. At this point, a date seems well out of reach. Anyway, since Dad's passing, I've been feeling a particular desire to find the comfort and intimacy that comes through a marital relationship, not that there's anything I can do about it. Regardless, I thought that I would right a note to anyone that I would marry.
As I have said on the profile, I am a romantic at heart. Maybe this sounds like the romantic ramblings of a lonely man who has little experience in the way things really operate. Maybe. But I think deep down, this is the desire of how all men wished their relationships worked. So ladies, remember that he needs a partner, not a yapping chiwawa. You can be a source of strength, or a source of added stress in the time he needs it least.
I don't really know how to start. I know that I will not be a perfect
husband. As much as I want to be a Knight in shining armor, I know that my
armor has chinks in it, has some blood from my wounds, has some rust. But
that's not who I want to be, especially in your eyes. I want, no I need,
in a deep, spiritual way, to see you look me in the eye. I recently
watched the new Russell Crowe Robin Hood movie. That's who I want
to be, the hero that is willing to fight when no one else will, no matter the
consequences. I want to be able to earn your love through my action and
honor.
I also know that isn't realistic. I will screw up, probably
badly. I will not pay enough attention to you and your needs, a hazard of
ministry. Moreover, I, through selfish action and pride, I will hurt
you. I know in those times, you won't want to look at me like your
hero. It reminds me of a popular song from my teen years. "If I grow
crazy then will you still call me Superman?" Know that in those times, I
will need you more than ever. I won't need you to nag me back into
submission. I will need you to remind me that I am your Knight, that you
still love me, that I am a good man, even when I don't feel any of that.
Because if you can make me believe that you believe that, then maybe I can
believe it too. I will fight to become what you see in me, for good or for
bad.
As I have said on the profile, I am a romantic at heart. Maybe this sounds like the romantic ramblings of a lonely man who has little experience in the way things really operate. Maybe. But I think deep down, this is the desire of how all men wished their relationships worked. So ladies, remember that he needs a partner, not a yapping chiwawa. You can be a source of strength, or a source of added stress in the time he needs it least.
Thursday, December 2, 2010
Men or Babes
I was doing some serving tonight. I was packing lunches for kids to have meals on weekends when not in school. This elementary school gets a grant to get this food, and we were helping pack it into bags for the kids to take home.
While doing so, this boy, whom I had the priveledge of having at weeks of camp and also getting to baptize earlier this year, was there helping. We had to undo plastic wrapping and open boxes. So I loaned this boy a knife. I showed him how to use it and how to be very careful.
I have carried a knife since I was 10. I grew up in the country. In my family, we cut strings off of bales of straw or hay daily. We open packages. We need knives daily. Carrying a knife was a rite of passage for me, and a very important one. A knife represets the ability to carry out work. Can a knife be dangerous? Absolutely. If not, it would not be a rite of passage to becoming a man.
You see, if there is no danger, it isn't really masculine. Look at football. Twenty-two men on two sides who hit each other as hard as they can. Rock climbing is obvious. Skydiving, rafting rapids, backpacking the AT, all these have an element of danger. And men are drawn to them.
Well, this boy's mom started to disagree. She was scared. "You should live with him. He's immature. I have to tell him to brush his teeth." Though she did not take the knife away, she repeatedly, verbally expressed her doubt in her son. Afterward, she continued this rant.
No matter what I said, I could not possibly get her to understand what she was doing. Masculinity is bestowed. It does not happen passively. It must be passed down. And in cannot grow in the mother's bossum (to use old-fashioned expressions).
The reason he is immature, is because she suffocates maturity in him. She tells him everyday to brush his teeth, so he doesn't have to remember to do it. In two weeks of camp over two years, I never once told him to brush his teeth or shower or change clothes or pick up his dirty clothes. Yet he did it, because he was ALLOWED to mature. As long as she keeps controlling his every move, he will NEVER grow.
Women cannot teach, cannot bestow masculinity. In our world, men are rare. Men come home and plop down in front of the TV. They don't teach their sons how to become men. Most of them are boys themselves, who don't know how to be men. They never learned how to be dangerous. They never learned how to lead. They never learned to live. And they certainly never learned to teach what they didn't learn.
It is sad really. So women, release your boys. Let them go. Let them GO. LET THEM GO. They have to fall and pick themselves up, or they will never learn to walk. Men, take them from their mothers. Teach them. In some native American cultures, after a rite of passage, they would take them back to their mothers, who would pretend not to know them. The man that bestowed masculinity upon them would introduce the young man to his mother. Her baby was gone. He was a man now. Let that be a lesson. Raise up young men.
While doing so, this boy, whom I had the priveledge of having at weeks of camp and also getting to baptize earlier this year, was there helping. We had to undo plastic wrapping and open boxes. So I loaned this boy a knife. I showed him how to use it and how to be very careful.
I have carried a knife since I was 10. I grew up in the country. In my family, we cut strings off of bales of straw or hay daily. We open packages. We need knives daily. Carrying a knife was a rite of passage for me, and a very important one. A knife represets the ability to carry out work. Can a knife be dangerous? Absolutely. If not, it would not be a rite of passage to becoming a man.
You see, if there is no danger, it isn't really masculine. Look at football. Twenty-two men on two sides who hit each other as hard as they can. Rock climbing is obvious. Skydiving, rafting rapids, backpacking the AT, all these have an element of danger. And men are drawn to them.
Well, this boy's mom started to disagree. She was scared. "You should live with him. He's immature. I have to tell him to brush his teeth." Though she did not take the knife away, she repeatedly, verbally expressed her doubt in her son. Afterward, she continued this rant.
No matter what I said, I could not possibly get her to understand what she was doing. Masculinity is bestowed. It does not happen passively. It must be passed down. And in cannot grow in the mother's bossum (to use old-fashioned expressions).
The reason he is immature, is because she suffocates maturity in him. She tells him everyday to brush his teeth, so he doesn't have to remember to do it. In two weeks of camp over two years, I never once told him to brush his teeth or shower or change clothes or pick up his dirty clothes. Yet he did it, because he was ALLOWED to mature. As long as she keeps controlling his every move, he will NEVER grow.
Women cannot teach, cannot bestow masculinity. In our world, men are rare. Men come home and plop down in front of the TV. They don't teach their sons how to become men. Most of them are boys themselves, who don't know how to be men. They never learned how to be dangerous. They never learned how to lead. They never learned to live. And they certainly never learned to teach what they didn't learn.
It is sad really. So women, release your boys. Let them go. Let them GO. LET THEM GO. They have to fall and pick themselves up, or they will never learn to walk. Men, take them from their mothers. Teach them. In some native American cultures, after a rite of passage, they would take them back to their mothers, who would pretend not to know them. The man that bestowed masculinity upon them would introduce the young man to his mother. Her baby was gone. He was a man now. Let that be a lesson. Raise up young men.
Monday, November 1, 2010
Wilderness
This weekend, I got to relax. How? By loading as much camping gear as I could carry and hiking into the wilderness. My friend and I called it "Man Weekend." This was the second year we had done this. Last year, another friend of ours was able to come also.
As men, it is important for us to go out in wilderness. We got away from choked cities and breathed fresh air. We hiked trails through untamed wilderness. We chopped firewood and made fire. We peed on trees. We saw stars without light pollution to hide them. We heard two owls vying for territory. We slept outdoors. We filtered water from mountain streams and ate jerky.
There is something deep in us that is called to the wild. Because God may move in the cities, but He met us in the woods. God created Adam in the wilderness and brought him to the garden. Eve was made in the garden. God met Abraham on a mountain. He wrestled Jacob under the stars. He met Moses alone on a mountain. God strengthened David in a cave. He fed Elijah by and open stream, and passed by him in an open cave. He worked with John in the dessert. He sent Jesus to the wilderness, and to a mountain grove. And he appeared to Paul not in the city, but along the road.
You do not fully appreciate Beethoven until you hear his music. You do not appreciate Michelangelo until you see his sculptures or murals. How can you appreciate the Creator without experiencing creation?
As men, it is important for us to go out in wilderness. We got away from choked cities and breathed fresh air. We hiked trails through untamed wilderness. We chopped firewood and made fire. We peed on trees. We saw stars without light pollution to hide them. We heard two owls vying for territory. We slept outdoors. We filtered water from mountain streams and ate jerky.
There is something deep in us that is called to the wild. Because God may move in the cities, but He met us in the woods. God created Adam in the wilderness and brought him to the garden. Eve was made in the garden. God met Abraham on a mountain. He wrestled Jacob under the stars. He met Moses alone on a mountain. God strengthened David in a cave. He fed Elijah by and open stream, and passed by him in an open cave. He worked with John in the dessert. He sent Jesus to the wilderness, and to a mountain grove. And he appeared to Paul not in the city, but along the road.
You do not fully appreciate Beethoven until you hear his music. You do not appreciate Michelangelo until you see his sculptures or murals. How can you appreciate the Creator without experiencing creation?
Monday, October 25, 2010
That's the way you want to play? Bring it.
Lately I've been stressed out, burned out, and insecure. I've been seeing the negative in everything, and complaining about all of it. I just haven't felt like myself.
Saturday, I had this amazing opportunity. My church organized a free yard sale in the poor section of the community. We didn't expect them to come to us. We didn't attach strings (like making them sit through a two hour presentation on the gospel before they could take anything). We just tried to show love without conditions. Because love can change the world.
While we were organizing this and after, one person kept making comments to me and to others about how I wasn't helping. He said this because while he was folding clothes, I was in my office working. While he was here Friday, I (on my only day off) went grocery shopping, did laundry, and went to pick up a guy who wanted to help but needed a ride and lived over a half hour away.
You see, my job is mainly a behind the scenes guy. As I write this, I am waiting for a sermon MP3 to format to load on the church website. So I did up front things, behind the scenes things, and was here in evenings when this guy wasn't. So when I was on this high, I was also low.
Well, yesterday, I had an epiphony. If you've never read the book Wild at Heart by John Eldridge, I highly recommend it. It is a personal favortie of mine. It is about restoring genuine masculinity as God intended it. It is about being a warrior, carrying on the fight. As you would imagine, this has become a defining imagery for me.
Anyway, one thing he talks about is that each man has a Wound. This Wound is the place where his heart has been pierced, and his strength has been stolen. (Women, reading and understanding this will help you understand the men around you.) Really, every man has the question on his heart. The question can be worded many ways, and in the same way, now words can fully express it. "Am I enough? Am I strong enough? Am I man enough? Do I have what it takes?"
In some way, this question has been answered "no." My dad was a large, physically impressive man in my childhood. He had a strength to match his great size. He had me work construction with him. I learned a lot of things that way. But I also got my Wound. Dad always wanted me to lift more than I could carry to help him. And he always wanted me to hurry faster. I would be moving as fast as I could burdened with a heavy load, and he would say "my dead grandmother can move faster than that."
What I learned was that because I was smaller and weaker, I was not enough. I had to work harder. Since then I have been trying to work harder, being the first to volunteer and trying to prove to everyone that I am not lazy.
That's what I realized yesterday. For six weeks, Satan had plunged his dagger into the weak spot in my armor AND I DIDN'T NOTICE. Once I realized that, it was as if a great burden was lifted from me. Now, I've got the dagger out, shield up, and I'm ready to do some beating down with my sword. I'm ticked. I'm angry. I'm ready for the fight.
On a related note, this is why I have a hard time accepting gifts, praise, or affection. I feel that I have to earn everything. And I feel that I can never work hard enough to earn anything. For example, my dad would yell at me all day, then tell my mom how hard that I worked and he is proud of me. That screwed me up.
When I fell away from God for a time, it was largely because I was trying to earn grace, which is a free gift from God, and I wouldn't accept anything free. That's why our free yard sale made a difference in the community. It was utterly free, without conditions or strings. So do something nice, something free, for someone that you care about. And if it is me, don't be offended if I struggle with accepting it. It is not a lack of gratitude. It is a lack of feeling worthy on my part. Don't mistake it for humilty either. Insecurity can be just as pride filled as anything.
Saturday, I had this amazing opportunity. My church organized a free yard sale in the poor section of the community. We didn't expect them to come to us. We didn't attach strings (like making them sit through a two hour presentation on the gospel before they could take anything). We just tried to show love without conditions. Because love can change the world.
While we were organizing this and after, one person kept making comments to me and to others about how I wasn't helping. He said this because while he was folding clothes, I was in my office working. While he was here Friday, I (on my only day off) went grocery shopping, did laundry, and went to pick up a guy who wanted to help but needed a ride and lived over a half hour away.
You see, my job is mainly a behind the scenes guy. As I write this, I am waiting for a sermon MP3 to format to load on the church website. So I did up front things, behind the scenes things, and was here in evenings when this guy wasn't. So when I was on this high, I was also low.
Well, yesterday, I had an epiphony. If you've never read the book Wild at Heart by John Eldridge, I highly recommend it. It is a personal favortie of mine. It is about restoring genuine masculinity as God intended it. It is about being a warrior, carrying on the fight. As you would imagine, this has become a defining imagery for me.
Anyway, one thing he talks about is that each man has a Wound. This Wound is the place where his heart has been pierced, and his strength has been stolen. (Women, reading and understanding this will help you understand the men around you.) Really, every man has the question on his heart. The question can be worded many ways, and in the same way, now words can fully express it. "Am I enough? Am I strong enough? Am I man enough? Do I have what it takes?"
In some way, this question has been answered "no." My dad was a large, physically impressive man in my childhood. He had a strength to match his great size. He had me work construction with him. I learned a lot of things that way. But I also got my Wound. Dad always wanted me to lift more than I could carry to help him. And he always wanted me to hurry faster. I would be moving as fast as I could burdened with a heavy load, and he would say "my dead grandmother can move faster than that."
What I learned was that because I was smaller and weaker, I was not enough. I had to work harder. Since then I have been trying to work harder, being the first to volunteer and trying to prove to everyone that I am not lazy.
That's what I realized yesterday. For six weeks, Satan had plunged his dagger into the weak spot in my armor AND I DIDN'T NOTICE. Once I realized that, it was as if a great burden was lifted from me. Now, I've got the dagger out, shield up, and I'm ready to do some beating down with my sword. I'm ticked. I'm angry. I'm ready for the fight.
On a related note, this is why I have a hard time accepting gifts, praise, or affection. I feel that I have to earn everything. And I feel that I can never work hard enough to earn anything. For example, my dad would yell at me all day, then tell my mom how hard that I worked and he is proud of me. That screwed me up.
When I fell away from God for a time, it was largely because I was trying to earn grace, which is a free gift from God, and I wouldn't accept anything free. That's why our free yard sale made a difference in the community. It was utterly free, without conditions or strings. So do something nice, something free, for someone that you care about. And if it is me, don't be offended if I struggle with accepting it. It is not a lack of gratitude. It is a lack of feeling worthy on my part. Don't mistake it for humilty either. Insecurity can be just as pride filled as anything.
Thursday, September 30, 2010
Songs that make men cry?
In the UK, they did a study revealing the top 10 songs that make men cry. Here is the list they came up with.
Let us not forget, however, that these "men" are English. The English aren't exactly known for their manliness. The fact that Elton John's "Candle in the Wind" made the list is proof of that. I mean, come on, seriously?
I'm not saying that men can't/don't/shouldn't cry. I'm saying the Brits don't count as men. No one cares about Princess Diana. Get over it. It's not like you really knew her. I didn't cry when Reagan died.
Anyway, this got me thinking about the only song that ever made me cry. My family was on the way back from church one night, and "Butterfly Kisses" came on the radio. I don't like this song, because I have taste. However, in the verse that talks about him walking his daughter around the aisle I got thinking about the fact that soon my sister would be off to college, perhaps married, and I started to cry thinking about her not being there with me anymore. I was just a kid.
I did not know that my sister would come home every weekend from college, or that she would live there for 6 years after she graduated. I actually moved out first. I also did not know that these tears would be prophetic. I performed her wedding, and cried because I was so happy. Her husband is great, and I have no fears about how he treats my sister.
So to sum up, I cry when I have good reason. The Brits cry because they are British. I mean, wouldn't you get depressed if it rained all year round, you had to eat sheeps bladders, and you had to talk in that accent?
Let us not forget, however, that these "men" are English. The English aren't exactly known for their manliness. The fact that Elton John's "Candle in the Wind" made the list is proof of that. I mean, come on, seriously?
I'm not saying that men can't/don't/shouldn't cry. I'm saying the Brits don't count as men. No one cares about Princess Diana. Get over it. It's not like you really knew her. I didn't cry when Reagan died.
Anyway, this got me thinking about the only song that ever made me cry. My family was on the way back from church one night, and "Butterfly Kisses" came on the radio. I don't like this song, because I have taste. However, in the verse that talks about him walking his daughter around the aisle I got thinking about the fact that soon my sister would be off to college, perhaps married, and I started to cry thinking about her not being there with me anymore. I was just a kid.
I did not know that my sister would come home every weekend from college, or that she would live there for 6 years after she graduated. I actually moved out first. I also did not know that these tears would be prophetic. I performed her wedding, and cried because I was so happy. Her husband is great, and I have no fears about how he treats my sister.
So to sum up, I cry when I have good reason. The Brits cry because they are British. I mean, wouldn't you get depressed if it rained all year round, you had to eat sheeps bladders, and you had to talk in that accent?
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