The Lies We Tell

I would say that the deadliest poison in our society is pornography. Why the deadliest? Because it does not kill people. It destroys families, homes, lives, even societies. Did you know that in the middle east, America is known as the Great Satan? They use our TV shows and internet as proof. Its all pornographic, showing, in their minds, our evil.

I've seen way too many families, homes, people, churches, careers brought down by pornography. It is deadly. Part of its deadliness is that it comes in a variety of forms. It also does not seem that bad. Many today say that is it "normal" and that "everyone does it." But its not. You also hear "I looked, but I didn't touch" and "it doesn't hurt anyone." ALL LIES.

True, pornography has been found in ancient Greece and Rome, places known for depravity. From the greek, we derive the word "Hedonism." If you argue that its normal because it is so old, than so is murder and pediophilea. Not everyone does it. Most do not, especially in most cultures. As far as the other two, it does hurt other people. If a man looks as porn, it hurts his wife. But I'm going to get to that. And as far as the user, 40% of men have a "serious problem" meaning addiction.

When we think of porn today, we think of what is known as "hard core" pornography. But it means more. Websters defines pornography as

1. the depiction of erotic behavior (as in pictures or writing) intended to cause sexual excitement
2. material (as a book or photograph that depicts erotic behavior and is intended to cause sexual excitement.

If you're paying attention, anything designed to make you aroused is porn. This includes TV, music videos, movies, posters, Victoria's Secret catalogues, etc. It can be virtually anything. Making it that much more subtle and dangerous. Psychologists also say that viewing such things imprints the memory in ways few other things do. It stays with you. It is always there to recall. It is a poison with barbs. Once it gets in, it doesn't leave. I know from experience. They poison stays with me.

Men have a question that we always ask, deep in our hearts. "Do I have what it takes? Am I strong enough? Am I a real man?" The question takes a variety of wordings, but it all comes down to the fear that when we are called upon to stand strong, when we are tested, we won't be enough. This is especially true in our relationships with the opposite sex (impotence literally translated means "without power").

When we turn to porn, the lie we tell ourselves is that these women do these things FOR US. It makes us feel like they believe in us. Sadly, what men do to make ourselves feel adequet is the same thing that makes women feel inadequet, like they aren't beautiful enough to please us. (Not that they exist to please us, but it makes still makes them feel not enough) You can see how the poison destroys the bond of a husband and wife. He feels not enough, so he turns to porn. She catches him, they argue, and she withdraws and withholds herself. He feels more inadequet, and goes back to porn. Their relationship dies, as does their individual selves. Porn destroys not just the consumer, but those around him.

I hope that this helps men understand why they are drawn to it, why they need it. And I hope women can understand it's not because they aren't beautiful enough, but because we feel SO WEAK. Don't take this as an excuse, but maybe enough understanding to help us survive.