Singleness

Lately, I've been forced to think a lot about being single. Being alone. I've been asked to speak on this issue, but it forces me to confront and speak on loneliness. It makes me think about what drives the behavior of single people. Allow me to add and exerpt.

Let me be very, very honest for a moment. I’m there. I know what its like to constantly have on a TV or radio, even if you’re not paying attention to them just so that it isn’t so quiet. I know the dinners for one. I know eating at the kitchen table, staring across at the empty seat in front of you. I know the fact that every TV show, every movie, every song on the radio seems to be involve relationships, taunting you, implying that you are incomplete because you are alone. I know that with every friend’s wedding, every child born, there are feelings of happiness mixed with guilt, because you want that. Let’s be brutally honest. I know desire for sex, and the temptation to be frustrated with God because He made us sexual beings, but has not given us a relief. I also know the late nights, sleeping in a bed where only one side is slept in, and more than sex you wish you had someone to hold and to hold you. I know that temptation to give into the siren’s song of the e-harmony commercials. I know the wondering if there is anyone out there for you. I know the wondering if there is something wrong with you, or if you are for some reason being punished.

I know the bitterness that comes every time someone tries to give “helpful advice.” They say things like “there’s a glove for every hand” or “there’s plenty of fish in the sea” or even trying to spiritualize it and say things like “for every Adam there’s Eve.” Sometimes you get things like “all in God’s timing” or “He’s got the right person out there. He’s just preparing them for you.” I know the thoughts of “easy for you to say when you’re already married.” I know the nervousness of being fixed up by a well-meaning person only to find you have about as much chemistry with this person as you do with that awkward cousin you see once every three years and how that can reinforce your feelings of inadequacy. I don’t know about girls, but as a guy I know meeting someone knew, and catching yourself stealing a glance at the ring finger to see if they’re spoken for, and the embarrassment that follows. I know feeling like you’re the one sock that comes out of the dryer without its pair. I know the wondering, worrying, if there is anyone out there for you. I know, because I’m there too.

For those of you who are there, you're not the only one who feels alone. Hang in there. I'm with you. You know what? You and I might never find someone. But let me tell you something I believe with all my heart. You cannot be content with someone until you are content alone. Otherwise you will seek fulfillment from that other person in ways that they cannot give you.

Now, for those of you who are the advice givers, we've heard it too much. Just leave us for a little while. Let us vent without the quips. Biggest thing you can do to comfort us to to be our friend. I know when I am the most loney, that's when a call to one of my college buddies is the biggest pick-me-up. Just be our friends. Help us to do something to take our minds off it, like video games or whatever in the world girls do.

Its OK to be single. Jesus and Paul even said its better. (Want a surpise? Read 1 Corinthians 7 sometime). I'm not opposed to marriage, neither were they. But singleness have advantages of being able to do whatever you are called to do without concern for your spouse. It is difficult to deal with feelings of loneliness, but better this then getting involved with the wrong person. Many do, based on fear of being alone, and suffer for it.

Clash of the Titans

Clash of the Titans is a movie about the Greek mythological story of Perseus. Hades kills his family and Perseus seeks revenge. His family is killed for being in the wrong place at the wrong time, as the soldiers of Argos declare war on the gods by desecrating the temples of the gods and destroying their statues.

I gotta say, I expected utter lameness. This movie had great potential for cheesy-ness. Apparently the 3-D was awful but I saw it in 2-D. Acting was good. Screen writing was pretty good. CGI and action was great.

Perseus was the son of Zeus, and mad about it. The movie portrayed him as wanting to prove himself a good man, not just a demigod. He was proud of his adopted family. His father taught him "someone will have to say enough." Isn't that part of every great story? Gladiator: Maximus has enough of Commodus' evil. Star Wars: the rebels have enough. In this case, they have enough of the gods' tyranny. The gods were cruel, petty, and evil. They were so obsessed with their own...vanity... that they cruelly treated and/or ignored the people, and expected love in return.

Its quite the opposite of the real God, but that's for another blog. Point here is that Clash of the Titans is well worth seeing.

Thoughts on heaven.

I wrote this as a facebook note about three years ago, but it seems relevant.

I don't know why, but the other side has been on my mind recently. I've been
thinking about different things at different times. My bad shoulder, where I
broke my arm when I was a kid was bothering me. As were my bad knees. As were my flat feet. As was by bad back. As was my TMJ. Boy, I have all the medical
problems of a 60 year old. Anyway, I was thinking, a lot of these problems that
I've had most of my life. I was thinking, what will my life be like when I get
to heaven? I've had constant, but slight pain my whole life. I just don't know
how my body will feel without it.

Then I've been listening to the CD "Iris to Iris" by Building 429. That got me thinking about what it will be like when we awaken after death. You wake to feel a warm, strong, gently hand cradling your head. You open your eyes to the most intense light you've ever seen. Its incomparibly brighter than the sun. Only this light doesn't hurt your eyes. Its the light that your eyes were always meant to stare at. That light is coming from a human face. You have never seen the face before, but the face is more
familar to it that even your own. It is the smiling face of Jesus. You are aware
that around you is a crowd of people gathered. Some are past family. Other are
past friends. Others are part of the "cloud of witnesses." The shining face of
Jesus speaks to you. The voice is louder than thunder, the crashing of waves, or
a roaring lion, but causes no fear, but loving reassurance as He says, "Welcome
child."

What will that by like for those outside Christ? That light will reveal
their every sin. There will be no shadow in which they can hide. That voice will
fill then with terror. They will know that Christ loves them, but they will feel
this intense self-harted for having rejected him. I hope to never know that
agony.

Keep in mind, most of this is theory. A lot of this I can't argue, it is just sort of a feeling (and if you know how much I hate feeling vs. thinking as a rational for an argument, you'll know how it pains me to admit this). St. Peter being at a pearly gate, or being surrounded by clouds isn't biblical either, if anything its anti-biblical.

I do know this, a lot of people don't understand heaven. They think you will perpetually relive the best time in your life. Nope. This world, even at its best, is imperfect. God isn't. I've also heard it described as a perpetual church service. Sounds like its designed for 60 year old women. What about for men?

Here's what I know, I serve an infinite, amazing, creative God. Why would I believe that I could hope to comprehend the scope of a heaven created by an incomprehensible God? We can't even understand our own universe. Why would we think we can better understand the afterlife?

I was asked the question if I could live in a heaven with no pain, no evil, no arguing, no death, etc., a perfect world but without God/Jesus, would I want to go there? My answer is no. What makes heaven amazing is the AWESOME God who makes it his dwelling. I can't wait to get there to spend time with God face to face. Now, I worship at a distance, pray often, and read the Bible. I talk to God, and His Spirit speaks to me. There, I will worship face to face. I will finally understand how small I am compared to Him with my own eyes, not just with deductive reason and inspiration.

Recent convo

I have been watching a recent conversation on facebook between a teenage boy I know and three girls. One girl is not talking to the boy. The other two are on her side. The boy has no idea why. The girls refuse to tell him, keeping him lost.

This is SO STUPID. Yet, it also happens daily. I said in my first post that I believe the genders are equal, yet completely different. There are barriers which keep us from understanding each other. Now I don't think we need to be the same. If we were, one would be unnecessary. I believe that God reveals different parts of his character through each gender. I also believe Satan attacks us through these differences. One example, in a survey of different married couples across America, a doctor (who happened to be a woman) asked couples to do a simples exercise. "Imagine you had to chose between love and respect. If you would rather have love, go to my right. If you would rather have respect, go to my left." The women lined up, not surprisingly, on the right, wanting love. The surprise came to her when EVERY MAN SURVEYED went to the left, wanting respect. This result caught her completely off guard.

I have experienced the same. My ex-girlfriend of years past showed me little trust. She asked me if I believed in the passages that teach for wives to submit to husbands. She assumed no, because of my great respect for her. I answered "well, it is in the Bible..." I tried to teach her several thing, like first NO WHERE does the Bible tell me to force their wives to submit. This is a willing act of the wife. Second, men are supposed to love their wives with the self-sacrificing love of Jesus. We argued for a long time, her failing to believe what I said was my belief on those passages. "Bottom line," I told her, "is if you cannot submit to me and trust that I will not abuse that, we have no business getting married." I gave her a chance, but broke it off. She did not trust me. She would not respect me as I needed. We loved, but she could not respect me as I needed.

Back to the conversation. I have heard many women (who I only partially blame. TV and women around them have trained them behave like this) make similar statements like "If you don't know, I'm not going to tell you." Speaking on behalf of all men, IF WE KNEW, WE WOULDN'T NEED TO BE TOLD! Let me say this about women. Women are wonderful and beautiful and complex. But I think part of the problem comes that women assume that men are complex too.

We aren't. You are talking to a gender that farts for entertainment. We are simple. Some might even say (fairly accurately) we are dumb. Bottom line is that we are clueless. When we say we don't know, we aren't lying. We have NO IDEA. Also, ladies, I want you to understand something. When you ask a man what he is thinking and he says "Nothing," he ain't lying! Men require time of thinking nothing. Its like defragmenting a computer. I know women are incapable of understanding that men shut their brains off (well, maybe you can understand by watching America's Funniest Videos). You are a jumble of wires, with serveral thoughts buzzing around at the same time. We are a stack of boxes. We can only think of one thing at a time, and before we can move to another box, we have to put away the previous one. Trying to get us into multiple boxes only frustrates us. And allow us our time in the "Nothing" box. Why do you think we invented TV?

So here's the thing ladies, when we have no idea, just explain it to us. Otherwise, you just have to accept our "I'm sorry" when you and we both know we have no idea what we're supposed to be apologizing for. Just accept the effort and move on.

Health Care

Ok, I have a few minutes to weigh in on this. There's a lot that could be said. I think it would be apparent where I would land on this issue. But I might surprise you.

Let me start by saying I think this thing has problems. First of all, a health care bill that includes a government takeover of student loans? What does that have to do with anything? It seems this has provisions that have nothing to do with health. It bothers me that in the name of providing for those who can't provide for themselves, they did many things that have nothing to do with caring for people. In fact, after Obama's signing of the bill into law, the white house press secretary admitted that it had nothing to do with health, but with redistribution of wealth. No one has any idea what is in the thing. They didn't read it. They just passed it.

Or we could move into how it was passed. There was some strong arming, with the president mocking the Tea Party Movement (named after the Boston Tea Party, the start of the American revolution), calling them the Tea-bag movement. The President mocking Americans? How about the State of the Union, where Obama said people that are against it just don't understand it, basically calling his opposition stupid.

That I can get over. Realistically, I think Obama is an idealist who is standing up for what he believes in. I respect him for that, even if I don't always agree with policy or his tactics. What I CANNOT stand is congress. Many were given MILLIONS in campaign contributions if they would vote for the health care bill. That's called BRIBERY where I come from. This is the most corrupt, immoral congress in the history of America. They don't care about what they believe in, only about who will line their pockets. Many in Congress should be prosecuted. Almost all, regardless of party, are corrupt to the point that it is time to be sent home. We need public servants, not people who think the public exists to serve them. Republicans for years manipulated Christians to make them vote in fear of abortion. They didn't care. They did nothing to stop it. The Religious Right in response became anti-democrat on any issue. The democrats have oppressed the "minorities" as well as Republicans, because if they convince them "we'll take care of you" then of course the poor will vote for Democrats, but if they actually got a leg up, well, then they won't need us anymore so they might stop voting for us, so we have to keep them down.

Here's the bottom line. Congress is corrupt and worthless. I believe that the time of America is over. I just hope that our economy lasts long enough to help build up Haiti or rebuild Chile. If you want to talk about a "right" of health care, what about the right of clean drinking water? We will spend trillions on "health care" (when incidentally, if you walk into an emergency room, you will get the health care you need) when if we spent only millions everyone in the WORLD could have clean drinking water. Do you know what the number 1 cause of death of children under 5 is? Diarrea caused by unclean, diseased drinking water. Diseases like Malaria, polio, and TB also ravage third world contries, when they are COMPLETELY PREVENTABLE. They want government funded lyposuction, but others don't get the basic right to live.