Let me start out by saying these won’t be so regular this year (as indeed this blog has not been lately), but I will do what I can for my… fans? Anyway, let me start with the white elephant in the room. Peyton Manning will not playing this season (my prediction), maybe ever. His neck problem has resulted in surgery after surgery after surgery. Neck surgery is serious enough without having 300 pound me jumping up and down on you.
In response, the Colts pulled Cary Collins out of retirement. I think this was a good call. Over a year ago, releasing Jim Sorgi was idiotic, but at least they aren’t playing Curtis Painter (can you feel my spine shudder just thinking of it?) Collins spent the last few years stepping in for the Titans every time VY would throw a tantrum. That said, he played against the Colts twice a year. He played for their rival, Tennessee, and also played against the other two division teams, Houston and Jacksonville. He’s old, but experienced.
That said…
Texans-Colts. The Colts started out with life. They got an early INT and started a powerful drive. Addai was off and running, and Collins completed some early passes. Then all of a sudden, its 4th and 14 with a punt. Houston got some big plays, then kicked a field goal. Immediately, Collins demeanor changed on the sidelines. You could read his mind, “Oh crap. I have to play for behind.” It sucked the energy from him. And then he started to suck. He lost fumbles on the next two times he touched the ball (both entirely his fault) in the red zone, which led to an unrested D trying to do way too much, and the entire team was demoralized and exhausted. By the way, why are we still cursed with Gumble and Deirdorff? Isn’t no Manning enough? Do we really have to listen to that moron for another year? I freaking hate Deirdorff, who excused Collins, but trashed our poor exhausted defense. THEY PLAYED THE FIRST QUARTER WITHOUT A BREAK! WHY DON’T YOU GIVE THEM ONE! Man I can’t stand that idiot. In fact, everyone write CBS and ask them to never allow those two to commentate another Colts game again.
Second half, after they got a chance to breathe, the defense did not give up a single point. Brackett got a Interception, and Angerer got a fumble recovery. The offense clicked more, but they got some growing to do. The most unusual thing was that Vineteri missed a field goal. Man, they got some work to do. The TD, well, that was Reggie Wayne doing his thing. That is what they need to keep doing. I have to say, thank goodness we have Jeff Saturday. With the best Center in the NFL, we have a chance to go 8-8 or better (though I’ve still been predicting for weeks that the Texans will win the division).
By the way, respect to the Texans fans holding a sign. “Peyton-you’ve been a pain in our necks for 10 years. GET WELL SOON!” Diddo, Manning. Get well soon 18.
Rest of the League:
Bengals-Browns. So begins another season of heartbreak for Colt McCoy and company. And it’s amazing what the Bengals can do with receivers who don’t quit on every play. Hear that TO and Ocho? You’re a couple of quitters.
Jags-Titans. Kenny Brit vs. Pocket Hercules. Pocket Herc won.
Ravens-Steelers. HA HA HA HA HA HA HA HA HA!!! The Steelers had as many turnovers as points. That’s hilarious. I used to kinda like Steelers, then I moved to a place where there’s lots of cocky, trash-talking Steelers fans. Ray Rice destroyed the Steelers D, and well, 7 turnovers… thanks Pitt for making me (and fans of losing teams everywhere) feel better about our loss today.
Packers-Saints. Let me say, the Packers looked good. The Saints had sparks of greatness, but I like consistently smashing the football than sparks of greatness.
Redskins-Giants. Wow. I was curious if the Redskins would be good, with the idiot owner actually letting Shanahan control the draft. Now they have an O-line.
Lions-Buccs. I like Matt Stafford. I think he’s a good kid. Unlike Brett Favre, who no one likes and is a traitor.
Speaking of people no one likes, Tom Brady is a chump and Tony Romo is the poodle of NFL quarterbacks, all fluff, barks too much, and is totally brainless.
Happy Week 1 everyone!
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