Addiction

Lately I have been talking to someone about their struggle with pornography and masturbation. He trusts me because he knows me well. I am something of an expert on the subject of pornography. I was 13 when I first view pornography. Within a year, I was addicted to pornography and masturbation.

That led to its own list of complex issues that I will save for a later date, but suffice it to say in time I was convicted of the damage it was doing to me spiritually, mentally, and emotionally. I have since then put much time and effort into the study of addiction, and the causes and effects of pornography addiction.

I've written on this once and will write on it more, but let me say some things. First, there is hope. I spent years masturbating nightly, as many did. In Alcoholics Anonymous, they teach them that there is no such thing as a former alcoholic. If you are like me, you will never be a former addict, whether it is to alcohol, drugs, porn, gambling, tobacco, food, shopping, etc. If you get a taste of it again, even when in recovery, you will tend to binge. But you can be in recovery. It was a slow process for me. I should say it IS a slow process for me, but it is better than it was.

Second, let me remind you that this is a fight. Satan wants us to harm us. We are wounded, and will continue to be. There will be times we won't feel like fighting. We'll feel like we already lost, or never will win. But we already have won the war. Right now I'm watching the HBO series Band of Brothers. When Germany was beat, there was still fighting to be done. There were still people killed and wounded. Satan has lost. But there are still casualties. Don't loose hope. Keep fighting.

Another thing is get help. Get someone who you can talk to, who can ask you the tough questions, like "How are you? No, how are you REALLY?" and "How many times this week?" It needs to be someone you can call at 3am to talk to when you are struggling. Also I have some recommendations. Not Even a Hint and Every Man's Battle (Every Young Man's Battle is good for singles, but Every Man's is good for married men. That's right, this doesn't go away when you're married.) are good books. There's also XXX-church.com. These resources are good. I recommend reading those books with that trusted friend. Just like in a real war, or even a football game this isn't a solo effort.

Everything by Lifehouse

Lifehouse is a great band. One that I never think of, but really like. This week, I saw a skit set to one of their songs. Warning: this is very real, showing life in detail that people often do not want to acknowledge.



This skit chokes up this normal stoic personality. It's power is in it's reality. I have known that girl. I have spent nights in prayer, begging God to send his angels to protect her when that final dark being emerged and held power over her.

Not only that, I have been her. Those may not be the issues that I deal with, but I have been distracted by shadowy figures. I myself have been batted around and beaten up by them. I have wept when I felt Jesus dive between them and me. There is power. He gave me the strength to fight. I am the warrior that I am, because He taught me how to fight.

Respect and honor

This week I spent some time in and around DC this week. One of the first stops was Arlington. Walking that sacred ground, it was impossible not to be taken in by the enormity. Rows of white stones ran on forever. So many had sacrificed so much for what? For a country? A flag? For an ideal. An ideal of freedom, equality, and life. Since Westerners first started to settle this continent, people have risked everything for this ideal. People risked storms, diseases, and untold dangers to come here and escape poverty, persecution, and oppression.

Almost immediately, that ideal was polluted. Slavery, persecution of the natives, war, and governing tyrrany were all contrary to this ideal. Dark, imperfect history, warts and all. So much sacrificed for the ideal. Such fields of the dead, those who have given everything for this ideal, and each other.

Also in DC, I went to see the WWII Memorial. Like Arlington, this place was very sacred to me. The Nazis and Japanese were people of great cruelty. Both viewed themselves as genetically and racially superior. Both decided that other nations were vermin, dogs, less than human. Both viciously attacked other nations (the Germans killed well, everyone. The Japanese did so to Americans and especially Chinese). It was one of the darkest times of human history. If you think its exaggerated, go to the Holocast Museum in DC. In that time, men and women of all nations rose to a greatness capable of conquering the darkness. When everything is darkest, the light shines the brightest. The Greatest Generation. That is why that place meant so much to me.

I must do a slight rant. I just can't get over that they let commerical airliners fly over Arlington. We saw the changing of guard at the Tomb of the Unknown Soldier. As we walked away, Taps came floating over the hill. It seemed ghostly. Everyone around us stopped moving, and became silent in respect. The fact that for convenience planes can desecrate that sacred place with noise pollution is disgusting.

Show some respect and honor. Even if you don't agree with war, honor the sacrifices of so many. Try to find a way to live the ideals of our nation, in a world that it is becoming harder to do so.

Stupid

I can't stand stupid. Stpuid is a pet peeve of mine. I think there is a difference between dumb and stupid. Dumb means you don't know better. Stupid means you know better, but you do it anyway.

Well, some people just do stupid. Drunk driving is stupid. Driving dangerously is stupid. Both can get people killed.

Lately, the stupid I've been dealing with is different. Its a lady who can't afford food for her kids, but she has a satillite, cell with texting and internet, internet to her apt. She can't afford gas, but her credit cards are caught up. That's stupid.

We've also had fallout from a simple e-mail. I work for a non-profit, and some people who are members of our organization have a softball team. One lady was spamming the organization with softball-related e-mails. The leadership asked her to stop, and she threatened to quit and was trying to get others to do so also. Over SOFTBALL! It's stupid! It makes no sense to react in such a way. Its frustratingly stupid.

I'm also recieving e-mails from a guy and today his wife that are trying to start arguments because one guy that they disagree was quote ONE TIME in a small group study. I'm ready to challenge his priorities. Is he more concerned with changing things, or with picking fights? If all he wants to do is nit pick stupid stuff, then good riddance!

Another boy accused his great-grandfather of touching him inappropriately while at his house (I believe abuse, not molestation). He said it to get out of trouble. The boy is a known liar. The great-grandfather, was in the hospital at the same time he supposedly did whatever. The mother (also a known liar) took the boy to the cops to start an investigation which revealed innocence, but now the boy is not allowed over anymore. Stupid! Oh how I hate stupid.

Gulf Oil Crisis

Day 50. Wow. Time for me to post.

First, let me say I am in the minority of people on this issue. I think Pres. Obama isn't doing as bad of a job as people say. He's responding at the level that a President should. There are two camps of critics: those that believe that the government is the answer for everything and those that are just mad because Bush got so much crap for Katrina (By the way, according to federal law before a president can intervene, the governor has to request help. Bush actually broke to law to send in FEMA without request.) His response is adequate for his responsibilities.

The problem is the age old problem, greed. BP, instead of plugging the "d%@# hole" as our president so eloquently put it, is still trying to get all that oil. They don't want to stop it. They want to control it so they can get the money. I'm about to the point that I think they should award a contract to any company that wants to drill a relief well and get some competition to get there fast.

Another problem is with the freaking tree huggers. This well is in water that is so deep, it makes everything more difficult. If they were allowed to drill off Alaska where the waters were shallower, they could have stopped this. Trying to be ecologically sound, they actually made the problems worse. Irony of ironies.

Moving to a related topic: gas prices. This seems like the perfect excuse for price gouging, but prices aren't moving up. Why? For starters, with the bad economy and people cutting back, they would actually cause people to cut on travel, even get rid of vacations. Second, and more importantly, by keeping prices low, (with people already boycotting BP over anger from the spills) they force BP to keep prices low when expenses are high. They may actually be able to force British Petroleum to cut things, maybe even close down from American shores. Don't think that hasn't crossed Exxon or Marathon's minds.

Robin Hood

Finally, finally I got a chance to see Robin Hood. Let me just say that I think Gladiator was one of the best movies ever. Robin Hood is made by the same people and starring the same actor, Russell Crowe.

While this movies was not as good as Gladiator. The old Robin Hood: Prince of Thieves movie staring Kevin Costner and Morgan Freeman is also a classic Robin Hood story. Like Prince of Thieves, this is a unique telling of the Robin Hood story. If you walk in expecting one of those, you will be disappointed. This is however, a great original story. I thoroughly enjoyed it.

Russell Crowe stars as Robin Longstride, an archer in Richard the Lionheart's army. Unlike those stories that glorify Richard, this one gives a more accurate portrayal. After Crusaders marched down to Jerusalem to slaughter, well, everyone, they marched back through Europe by slaughtering, well, everyone. They even came closer to giving a historically accurate death than most do. I appreciate that.

What followed was a great origin move for Robin Hood, leaving open a sequel. It was good. The merry men were hilarious, as is Friar Tuck (perhaps my favorite character in any depiction of Robin Hood and a temporary nickname in college). The story, acting, dialogue, were all great. And it is great for historical accuracy. Only things were most of the helmet designs in the movie were about 300 years early, and a close up on a nail showed a modern nail, not a period nail.

That should tell you something about me. I love that time period, and I am detail oriented.

Memorial Day

Happy Memorial Day everyone. I hope everyone among the cookouts takes some time to remember the reason. Right now, my roommate is in Afghanistan. His wife is pregnant with their first child. Not only could he potentially lose his life, but now he is sacrificing time with his young family, as are many right now.

Monday my tradition is to watch classic movies like "The Longest Day" about the landing at Normandy or "Sands of Iwo Jima" two classics featuring the Duke. "Midway," "Patton," "The Patriot" "We were Soldiers" and "Band of Brothers" are also good. Each of these stories, most true, remind us of the sacrifices that aren't numbers, but individual people.

I feel like I would be remiss if I didn't go on a political rant. President Obama has chosen not to lay the traditional wreath on Memorial Day. He is instead going to New York for a party thrown for Paul McCartney. Apparently to this commander-and-chief, the Beatles are more important than those who have given everything for this country.