A calling

I did not intend to ever write this post, but I fell compelled right now. In keeping this blog anonymous, I did not intend to tell specifics about my career. I have said before that I speak on behalf of a non-profit for a living. While that is true, that non-profit organization is a church. I am a minister.

Now in different circles, I hear many different terms used. In the Roman Catholic Church, its a priest. Some churches, its pastor or evangelist, or many other terms. I prefer minister or simply preacher. I work at a somewhat larger church, with multiple ministers on staff. I'm not the senior minister (usually refered to as the preacher), but I still like the terms preacher, even if I don't preach regularly.

Right now, I'm online watching a sermon done over a week ago at Southeast Christian church in Louisville, KY. In the particular sermon I am watching, Dave Stone and Kyle Idleman are discussing their own calls to ministry. A call to ministry is a powerful thing, as I have experienced for myself. I fought the call to ministry, I didn't want to do it, but finally after arguing with God for about six months, I told him that if that was what He wanted, I was in.

Funny thing is, God started to use me as a minister, even in high school. With 9-11 and two wars breaking out during that time, I was often brought into conversations about matters of faith, by both students and faculty. It was amazing how much I enjoyed life once I started following God's direction for it.

Now, after going to Bible college and having several years of ministry under my belt, I still love it. Ministry is hard. If it is only a job, a person cannot make it. But to me, my calling is not about a job. Its a large part of who I am. My boss recently said was discussing salary with out finances commitee and said about me "He would pay us to work here." Its true. I love it.

I love it so much, that it has cost me. I could make more money in a secular field. What I would do, I have no idea, nor do I want to ever have to make that decision. It has also cost me more. I dated a girl who I loved for a year. During that year, I learned that she had no desire for ministry, even to marry into it. That was one of several issues. Suffice it to say, she had built up an idea of who I was and loved that person, but the real me did not match up. It broke my heart and turned me off romance in general for a few years. She could not accept major parts of who I was, with ministry being one of those parts.

The truth is, I would sacrifice more to fulfill the calling my God has given me. I would follow Him to the ends of the earth but for the asking. I have a rare gift. I KNOW what I have been placed on this earth for. I know WHY I am here. That is an opportunity not many have in this life.

I really had to get this off my chest. I had to say how much I love my calling, almost as much as the God who called me. What else will he call me to be? A husband? I don't know, and frankly, I don't care. If I have to give up the prospect of ever getting married, ever having sex in order to keep my calling, I would do that without hesitation. So if God doesn't lead that way, don't be surprised if this knight never claims a lady. In the mean time, I'll stay in the fight, sword and lance.